Christ Saving India: Follow Up

I was asked to follow on my post on Christ Saving India (found here). I have been trawling the internet for any kind of information on this guy and asking on various blogs questions about others interactions with him. Unfortunately there is very little available out there apart from the Ministry's own facebook and blog pages (found at http://christsavingindiaministries.blogspot.co.nz/ and https://www.facebook.com/ChristSavingIndia).

The following is taken from another blog that had had contact with the ministry in a similar fashion to myself. The first post is from me and the subsequent ones are from others (names removed). There are some very interesting things said.

1. ChristineAugust 13, 2012 12:59 PM

   Hi there I was googling this ministry as well (I likewise have received many favourable comments on my blog from him) and came across this blog post. I have been corresponding with the pastor too and it sounds like the same requests as given to both of you. Do we know if this is a legit thing or a set up scam? I am wary by nature when it comes to people I don't know praising me abundantly haha

   
   
2. 
   August 13, 2012 1:30 PM

   Hi Christine,
   I can't comment about legit or otherwise. It does seem the pastor makes a practice of approaching people through their blogs by way of effusive praise which progresses to requests for their private email address ... As I said in a previous comment, the internet is a funny place ... it would concern me that there is so little info available about them online ... at the moment there only is a very few hits when they are googled ... their own website, their facebook page, a few blog posts from folk who, like you & I, were contacted through their blogs ... I'd say use discretion ... God bless.
3. 
   August 27, 2012 5:47 PM

   Grace and Peace,
   I to received praises from this guy, but I emailed him and explained that, thats not a way you would want to approach someone for help, and that I was very uncomfortable with him calling me man of God, when he doesn't know anything about me. He responded and apologized with an email of the same format with the man of God left out. I also asked him about where he was and the environment there, and how did he come to know the Lord. Still no response. I pray this is not a scam, this grieves me especially in these days where the name of Jesus is just a byword and the bible is not reverence. I pray for the Lords quick return and for those who are truly serving in these foreign nations. I would love to know if anybody can get a hold of some real info about this ministry....
4. 
   August 27, 2012 6:38 PM

   Hi ,
   I think you took the right approach with this. Your prayers are my prayers on this issue.
   Every blessing.
5. 
   CSIMINSeptember 4, 2012 9:36 PM

   Respected ----, Greetings To You in Jesus Our Lord. I have Read All of Your Answers to The People who asked You about Our Ministries.
   
   Can You Please Remove all of Our Ministry Details from Your Website, Please?
   
   I Believe That Our Great God make The Good Ways for HIS People.
   
   Please Remove all Of Our Details from Your Website.
   
   Please Forgive me in Jesus Our Lord, I should not have asked Your Help for HIS Work in India.
   
   Thank You
6. 
   CSIMINSeptember 4, 2012 10:29 PM

   Dear ----, Please read " Romans Chapter 12: 9 - 18."
7. 
   September 5, 2012 3:31 AM

   Dear CSIMin,
   
   
   I am not sure about the wisdom of removing your details from my blog. It has clearly served as a way for people who have been made uncomfortable about your method of approach to try and find out more about you & discuss matters with others you have approached in a similar fashion.
   
   I am however very glad that you have made contact with me again. I would very much like it if you could provide some details I could verify about your ministry. For example if you could give me the names & contact details (preferably email addresses) of some people who are unconnected with CSIMin who could vouch for the good work that you do - ministers from local churches, officials of local charitable organisations, people involved in the government of the region in which you operate. It would be important that they are independent of your organisation & that it is possible for me to verify they are who you say they are (& verify that they are who you say they are also). So far, all I can find out about you is your own website and facebook page. I can find no other reference to you anywhere & frankly I find that very odd. Anyone can download a few pictures and put them on a website. It does not mean they are who they say they are.
   
   I am sorry if this seems to be lacking in trust. You must understand that people in my position are frequently the target of people who are not who they claim to be. Hard experience has taught me to be cautious. If you can gain my trust by providing the information I ask for, I will publicize it & do my best to help you in your work. If you can not demonstrate that you are who you say you are and are doing the work that claim to be doing, then I honestly do not think I would be doing the right thing by removing this post and the words of cautious advice that exist in the comments box.
   
   I hope this is satisfactory to you. For the sake of convenience I have done another post on CSIMin about this issue http://thewayoutthere1.blogspot.ie/2012/09/christ-saving-india-ministries-2.html
   & I will do another when you send me the details I have asked for (which I pray that you will). 
8. 
   CSIMINSeptember 10, 2012 6:43 AM

   Dear Levi, Holy Greetings To You in Jesus Our Lord.
   
   I Read Your Comment many times. I fasted and Prayed To God To Show me way to Prove myself and Our Ministries as legitimate.
   
   I Understood that You were cheated , that is why you are taking this Type of Caution.
   
   I am a unworthy Servant of God, I Worked as a Biochemist and I left my job to Do the Work of God, I was cheated by some people who Claiming to be Godly even though they were not.
   
   Our Ministries are One Of The Big Ministry in Our Area and We are Facing Much Persecutions in Our Daily Ministries, Many People and organizations Works Against us to stop the God's Work.
   
   Because of These Reasons I can not get any Letters from The Govt. Officials .
   
   We have more than 350 Churches in Our Ministries.
   
   When I Read Your Comment , I wept in The Presence of God,I asked HIM to show me a way To Prove Our Ministries as Legitimate, HE put an Idea in my heart. I followed that Idea.
   
   Please see These Small Videos on YouTube,I Pray and Believe that These Videos gives you an Idea About Our Ministries.
   
   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miGt3xhQLmU
   
   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4CR-6POLbk
   
   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9aYrKh-pSE
   
   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdCybSGFgrw
   
   
   Dear ----, If it is God's Will, Please Come to India and Visit Our Ministries.
   
   Dear ----, You Can Check Our Website and Facebook page and tally the Video and Pictures.
   
   This is Only To Prove Our Ministries as Legitimate.
   
   In What Way Our Lord Leads You in That Way Do Each and Everything Towards us.
   
   Dear ----, I must Honor The Elders, Godly people and other strangers, this is I learned from My Parents , From The Word of God and from Our Culture, that is why, I wrote Honorable words when I Write Comments on Others Website.
   
   Please Forgive me for The Mistakes in my English Usage.
   
   You Can Make a call to me " My Phone Number is +91 9705745938.
   
   I have been Prayerfully waiting for Your reply.
   
   Thank You.
9. 
   September 10, 2012 12:09 PM

   Dear Brother Williams,
   
   Thanks for your reply. I'm sorry if this is causing you distress. If you are what you say you are, you have no need to be - the truth will be established in due time.
   
   I'll have a look at the youtube clips when I get a chance - I am incredibly busy with work right now. And financially I'm not in a position to travel to India. However, I went over your website again & note that you don't give any locations for the various places your ministry operates in. Could you supply some? I have some friends who have contacts with a number of charities operating in India & I am sure they could make some inquiries to verify the work that you are doing.
   
   Every blessing, L+
10. 
    CSIMINSeptember 10, 2012 9:16 PM

    Dear ----, I am so Thankful to you for Your reply.
    
    We will soon update our website with the information you asked.
    
    If it is Pleases to you, You can give my Phone number to Your Contacts in India to talk to me and visit our Ministries.
    
    Please see The Videos and If you believe that We are legitimate, Please Write a Post about Your Understanding About Our Ministries.
    
    We Pray for You, Please Pray for us.
    
    Thanking You
    
    In Christ Alone.

    -----------------------------------------------------------

    
    

    So as you can see it is all very interesting and I am not really sure what I think about the whole thing. Many questions come to mind about why he wanted the details removed etc.

    
    

    I also received this link via email from Williams that I found, frankly, extremely emotionally manipulative:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaapfKS2lBs

    
    

    At the end of the day I have not told Williams to stop emailing me and I do continue to pray for him, but his requests for help through clothes, food and money I cannot help with for two reasons; the first being I have no money to help him with (!) the second because I cannot know where that money is going or who it is helping.

    
    

    I think that we all have to make up our own minds about this. I find the whole thing a bit fishy and my instincts are going crazy with warning bells whenever I look into this guy so I am gonna play it safe.

    
    

    Feel free to leave comments etc about your own findings on this. Don't just take my word for it.

How Far is TOO Far?

Sex toys.

Now it's out there you can stop reading if you like because this is the next segment on what is rapidly turning into my series on sex!

I said in my blog S-E-X that for Christians who grow up in the church, we are often told that before marriage sex consists of "don't do it" and after marriage it is "feel free". There are no other guidelines to that. You don't find many people who will put up their hands in a sermon and say "my husband and I are interested in using sex toys to enhance our bedroom experience. What does the Bible have to say on alternative sexual experiences within marriage?"

If someone asked that in my church I am not sure if I would fall of my chair or die laughing! Think of the ministers face!!!!

And how many parents do you know that would sit down and talk about the pros and cons of sex toys in a loving relationship when they were having the 'sex talk' with their kids?

Reality is though that there are many 'sexual enhancers' on the market today and they have become a well accepted part of sex in many circles. It is almost a given with some of my friends that every woman has a vibrator and most couples, if not all, have at least tried a little bondage.

I kid you not.

Think of TV programmes. FRIENDS has an episode where Monica buys Chandler porn and is considered the best wife ever because she wants to watch it with him. Sex and the City has a whole episode dedicated to the vibrator. In fact there is a movie coming out called Hysteria that is about the invention of the vibrator!!

And if you go to this website, it is a christian website for conservative christian couples who want a sexual 'boost'. This is how they describe their website:

 "Welcome to Covenant Spice! We are a Christian sex toy shop and romance site for married couples, offering high quality, feature-packed products that enhance lovemaking — at unbelievably low prices. Our goal from our inception has been to offer Christian sexual aids that help foster intimacy and strengthen relationships within the bonds of a healthy marriage."

(Random aside: what classfies a sex toy as 'Christian' as opposed to non-Christian? Have they been specially blessed and baptised?)

Sex and exploration go hand in hand now. It is not looked down on if you go to Peaches N Cream or Erox stores to buy some bedroom games. Bridal showers are usually inundated with them and, if you are having 'problems' in the bedroom area, advertising would tell you that there are battery powered toys out there to help with that.

Now I want to be straight up, per usual, and say that my marriage has not gone down that path as we have enough fun in that department as is haha. But it is a subject we brought up with our premarital counsellors and that we have had discussions with with our couple friends.

Sometimes I do wonder what are in those stores and what they would 'do'. Are they all they cracked up to be?

But me being me, I started thinking about sex toys in the light of God's grace, love for humanity, and biblical teachings. 

Let me state that the Bible is not just filled with good little 'Christian' types who only use the missionary position. It is filled, from cover to cover, with prostitutes, scandalous women, and women who use their sexual prowess to get men to do what they want. We have Esther who pleased her man so much in the bedroom that he made her Queen (no boring sex in that relationship)! Ruth made a man think that he had slept with her to make him marry her. Rachel and Leah were constantly in a sexual showdown to win the affection of their shared husband.

Don't even get me started on Song of Songs! Translating that from the Hebrew into English made me blush!

God is no stranger to the sexuality of the created humanity. In fact, it was God that made it so flipping amazing (and to those who are hanging out for marriage, yes it is as good as everyone says and sorry for making you jealous haha). God wants us to enjoy each other.

But not in a destructive way.

God wants us to be fully alive in Christ and with each other. This includes sex. If we are abusing sex we are not fully alive with it. If we use it unthinkingly, dangerously, or unlovingly, we are selling ourselves horrendously short.

This applies to sex toys.

Our premarital counsellors answered our questions on sex toys in a very, very good way.

They said that anything that causes degradation or pain to another is to be counted out. If you would feel ashamed in the morning then don't do it. But otherwise have fun!

So if you are thinking about spicing up things in the bedroom with some fun adult paraphernalia then ask yourselves the following questions:

1) is this going to cause physical pain?

A lot of sexual enhancers these days are pain based. Some people are really aroused by pain but I think that this is a distortion on sex and shouldn't be aggressively pursued. Any harm that is caused to another human being is not loving and should not be part of a loving sexual relationship.

2) Will this degrade me, my partner, or anyone else?

This counts out porn automatically. You both may find it a huge stimulus but it is inherently degrading to those who are in the video and, by association, the people who watch it. If you are aroused by porn perhaps as a couple you should be asking why that is rather than pursuing it. It also means that you are constantly asking your partner if what you are doing is ok, if they feel ok, and asking yourself if you are feeling emotionally safe too. Keep clued into each other and don't just go for pleasuring yourself.

3) Will I regret this in the morning?

If you can't look your partner in the eye the next morning then you have both done something VERY wrong. Sex is meant to enhance a loving relationship, not destroy it, and if you are embarrassed or ashamed the next day then it is going to kill any future sexual experiences that you may have.

I would also add that, if after discussion with your partner (DON'T surprise them with a sex toy if you don't know their feelings on it!!!), you decide to purchase one then do your research. There are no standards for sex toys on materials that they are or are not allowed to use and cheap, nasty ones can be filled with toxic chemicals that can cause TSS (toxic shock syndrome) in a woman as the chemicals pass through the sesitive vaginal walls. There are also reported cases of batteries giving electric shocks. It may sound funny but in the moment it really wouldn't be. You do NOT want to end up in hospital trying to explain that one!

So research (there are sites out there that give you info, but be careful about links you click!) and listen to each other and be aware at all times of your motivation and, after the sex buzz wears off, what you will feel like afterwards.

Celebrate your sexuality and the love that you have for each other.

Go have fun!

Let the People Speak!

Facebook. Love it or hate it, it is here to stay.

And it is changing our lives!

It is changing the way that we think about ourselves, our world and each other.

Before facebook when did you ever think that anyone wanted to know, or een cared, about the amazing meal you had last night, how sick you were feeling, or the new shoes you just got?

When did you consider that hundreds of people that you mostly know only slightly needed to know about your relationship and where it was headed?

We didn't. We told our few close friends and got on with our lives.

Now, if it isn't on facebook then it is almost not official.

EVERYONE wants to know, or at least we think they do, and so we must broadcast our lives, even the mundane and stupid bits.

It is also revolutionising the amount of say that people believe they have in public issues. I have been 'invited' to numerous rallies, projects, protests and petitions all calling for public change and awareness. People are more aware of their environment now and what is happening out there and we want a say! Just as we have a say on everything else through the wonderful world of the 'wall', so too do we now want to express our opinion on other stuff; important stuff!

Theological debates are also entered into by people who would never necessarily shared their faith publically before. People express their disgust or love of religion, they debate with people about their views, and everyone generally tries to evangelise the world with their 'right' thinking.

I confess, I do all of the above, the good and the bad, and though there are many stupid things on fb there are also many great things.

For example, I have been engaged in a conversation (or series of) with a young man who has given up his faith in order to 'think rationally' (his argument not mine). Of course, being me, I just had to, had to, put in my two cents (two dollars, two hundred dollars...) in. At times it has been heated, at others quite funny, and always very deep and searching.

I have loved this. I think anyone who is using their brain and searching for truth is on to something good. But what I have been more blown away with is the response of others.

I have been messaged by people I don't know saying that they are praying for our mutual friend. I have had others, again I don't know, message me to encourage or berate me for my stance. I have had people back up my statements, 'like' them, and challenge me. It is truly a communal disscusion that is occurring that is having an impact on many people around us.

People can't remain quiet in the face of something they believe in being challenged. It is a deeply ingrained part of us that requires us to speak out, yell, scream, or (in the examples seen in this blog) paint.

These pics are from street artists around the world who are commenting on what they see around them in the only way they know how; by painting it on walls.

They are creating a renewable, contemporary commentary of their culture and environment. Like fb they are writing up on a 'wall' what is occurring around them because they cannot be silent. Their humanness cries out to be heard over the devastation and pain that they witness. Like my friend they are writing up in public view what they believe and what they question.

For the same reason that I write this blog, my friend debates faith on fb and these painters put up pictures around their cities, asking the general population to engage in the issue, to think deeply and to reflect on their lives. Their art does what an fb 'invite' does for us.

This world is so messed up. Our relationships with each other and with creation are so out of whack that many of us are lonely while living in cities. Though technology has it's flaws, there are times when I can celebrate what occurs due to our ability to connect with others anywhere, anytime.

There is hope for us yet.

Scam Artist? Christ Saving India

I have recently been contacted by a pastor in India through this blog claiming to be the leader of Christ Saving India (CSI) Ministries. He praised me profusely, calling me a woman of God many times, and has continued to email me with pictures and videos.

The thing is, something is not sitting right with me and I have learnt to listen to my instincts.

So I told him straight up I was suspicious and started on a major mission to find out all I could about this ministry before I decided to support it.

And I found....hardly anything. This is why I am writing this post, so others may have some more hits when they search this ministry. There is a very simple website that gives very little information about the ministry, a facebook page (again, very little info) and some other blogs like mine which have been targeted by this guy and are having discussions on his legitimacy.

I am curious as to why there is so little on a ministry that apparently has 350 churches in India and why the photos he sends to me all show the same people in them if this is the case. I also find is emails very emotionally manipulative as they purposely try to call on my faith in the words, and in the videos they have children holding up signs with my name on it saying "Sister Christine, have mercy on us".

I don't like this, something smells fishy.

But I don't give up easily, particularly when it comes to supporting a potentially misunderstood church that is struggling.

So I asked the guy for a contact that I could talk to. I recieved an email address and had a couple of emails from someone claiming to be his American supporter. Something about the wording put me off though, this guy is apparently an American and yet he sounds like an English-second-language person.

Warning bells are still sounding.

So I talk to the main guy some more, he sends me more pics and videos. I do pray for him but his requests for food, clothing and for me to come to India to see his ministry I cannot possibly follow through with in my economic state.

I also contacted a ministry that I DO know in India and asked them to check into it for me. I am still waiting on a response.

See the thing is it is well known that in India children on the streets can be misused in order to help scammers (anyone see Slumdog Millionaire? Apparently the truth is far worse). I would hate to be supporting a man that is doing that to children. He also (and this may sound weird) is dressed in what appears to be very nice clothing while surrounded by children and people in dirty clothes. Any preacher who puts himself first doesn't get a tick in my book.

BUT he may be legit and I may be way too suspicious but in the world of technology (btw where did a poor preacher in the slums get a video camera and internet access??) how do you know that people are what they say they are? It is easy when you are playing the 'Christ' card to suck people into something that is really NOT about Christ at all.

If you know about this ministry at all and you know if I am right or wrong in my worries then please let me know what you know. Please pray for the children as in any situation that they could be in they need Christ's salvation. And if you too have been targeted on your blog and come across this blog in your search, please comment so others can see how wide spread he is working, what his tactics are and whether you have the same issues as me.

All My Single Ladies

There is an epidemic happening, a plague of biblical proportions.

I watch it with tears in my eyes as it takes victim after victim and there is so little I can do.

But I can warn you, I can bid you to heed my words and maybe a few good people will be saved.

This nightmare, this catastrophe, is call "Stupid Girl" syndrome.

It started in Hollywood with a change from dreaming about being the next woman CEO to wanting to be the next Paris Hilton.

Movies soon followed and soon we were being taught that men LIKE to be treated like crap. "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" was the catch cry and it spread, with horrifying swiftness, out into every corner of the (un)'civilised' world.

I watched in despair as teenager after teenager gave up the desire to find a life long partner and opted instead for quick fixes and quicker relationships.

And now this epidemic has started to affect people who I am close to, my friends and people I love. It affects mainly the men I know and it is time that I had a heart to heart with my fellow women.

Ladies:

There are a few things that you need to know about men.

1. They act tough but as soon as a girl they like is in the picture they become helpless teenage boys who wait for the next text, who don't eat and sleep, and who can cry when a woman treats them like crap.

2. Telling someone that you don't want to go out with them anymore but you 'still want to be friends' is like saying that you are going to stop feeding them but they get to watch you eat as they starve. IT ISN'T SAVING THEM FROM PAIN!!!! It is selfish and mean and you are doing it so you can still have them but they can't have you.

3. You cannot deal with commitment issues if you refuse to ever be committed. It is like playing football but without the ball; it doesn't work! You only work through stuff when you aren't so afraid of it that you run away. It's not the boy's issue, it's yours so suck it up and deal with it.

4. Holding hands, kissing, hugging, spending the majority of time with the same guy and sharing your most personal, intimate thoughts with them (you can have all or one or any combination of these) means you are in a relationship! Telling him that you aren't but acting this way is the most misleading, confusing thing ever! You are lying to yourself and you are lying to him. If you don't wanna stop that stuff then call it what it is, not doing so is just keeping a single man at your beck and call and that is awful!

5. If you would go mental if he saw someone else then stop stringing him along and stake your claim! If you aren't dating him then he is single and can do what he likes so stop treating him like your boyfriend.

I am tired girls. I am tried of watching silly girls purposely or naievely play men and secretly enjoy it. I am tired of hearing girls talk about the issues that they are having with a 'friend' when the issue is is that they treat him as something much more. And I am so so so tired of watching my male friend's lives fall apart because of  a girl flip flopping all over the place and leaving him confused, stressed and upset.

If this is you, if you are one of those girls, then stop it! Either stop being scared and tell it how it is or walk away and let the man bleed, cry and then heal and move on. Stop pulling the scab off because you are too afraid of living without him. If you can't live without him then freaking be with him already!

Please, please stop this madness. Please stop hurting the people you claim to love. Stop leaving people in limbo. Fear is the opposite of love; if you love him stop being afraid of being with him.

Now if you are a guy and some girl is putting you in a crazy situation (and I know you are out there) feel free to share this with her, or get a mate to anonymously send to her or something. Or, alternatively, tell her this yourself! Tell her how it is hurting you. Tell her she is being selfish. Tell her that you need to know where you stand or you need to walk away and for her to respect that. It will hurt but in the long run it may well be worth it.

Ok, rant over, as you were.

Love is a Battlefield

Love

L'amour.

The language of the French, music and poetry.

Nothing is quite like it for raising us up to soaring heights and making us want to dance and sing and laugh all the while with our cheeks aching from a smile we cannot hide.

I remember the first time that Luke and I held hands; the beating of my heart filled my ears, my face burnt from the blood rushing to the surface, my breath was shallow and sharp and my hands shook.

The first time we kissed was even more nerve racking, more exhilirating, more petrifying than merely holding hands. I, a full grown adult, felt like a nervous teenager.

Those memories are seared into my mind and bring a smile to my face every time I recall them.

But that isn't love, that is falling in love. And as much as I sometimes miss the thrill and newness of it all, at the same time I wouldn't give it up for the depth of relationship I have with him now.

I have learnt more about him now. I have argued with him and had to share my space with him. I have been frustrated by him, annoyed by him, teased by him, and disagreed with him. None of these things happened at the beginning. I would have been too scared to argue vehemently with him when our relationship was so new in case he decided he didn't really like me. Not the case now! And I will continue to learn more about him over the years and our love for each other will change and grow.

I have a few friends that are struggling in relationships right now. They are confused, not sleeping, not eating, and anxious. Or the a deliriously happy, not sleeping, not eating, and anxious. (Funny how the symptoms at the beginning for depression and falling in love are the same!!!).

I know people who want to give up and walk away from whatever they have, at whatever stage of the relationship that they are in, because it is too hard, it takes too much of a toll, it causes too much pain.

And I get it! As a remarried divorcee at 27 I really do understand that sometimes you need to walk away, sometimes things are too hard or too painful or too dangerous and, despite the grief it causes, it is better to call it quits than to fight for something that doesn't or shouldn't exist.

BUT (and here is the tricky bit) if we were to love someone, I mean not fall in love but really love, then what would that look like? How long do we hang on for? What would we do when it hurts?

First of all we can look at the example God sets us (if you're that way inclined) and we see that the love displayed throughout the pages of history is from a God who doesn't give in, give up, or give away the object of desire.

This is a God that is hurt over and over, abandoned, rejected, killed(!) and doesn't ever stop loving the people who have committed these crimes.

That is one freaking tough God. Also slightly crazy perhaps??

Joking, joking, please don't lynch me.

But perhaps we need a more...human example. So let's go with Jesus.

Um, hang on, does Jesus even have a love interest?

Well, according to some 'theories', that are largely discredited by historical theologians, Mary Magdalene and Jesus had a little thing going. But there is nothing in the Scriptures that tells us how Jesus dealt with rejection, falling in love, arguments, divorce etc. In fact we don't really think of Jesus much as a red-blooded, sexual being.

Yet he was.

At some point he was hitting puberty and all the hormones that come with that. He must have at least had a crush!

And at 33 when he died most young men his age would be married and have families.I wonder if he missed that, if he longed for physical touch from a woman, if he found it difficult to be celibate.

Because wanting a partner that you share everything with, physically and emotionally, is not 'ungodly', it is human and beautiful and special. And I bet that Jesus longed for it even though he put his calling above all else.

But if he did get married, or fell in love, how would he have acted?

Would he have acted like God did with Israel and, no matter what, pursue, win over and forgive his woman?

Would he have been like Hosea, who married the prostitute Gomer, and married someone who was wild and uncontrollable?

Or would he have married the 'good little Jewish woman' who was loyal and strong in her faith, and never caused any problems?

See God tends to reach out to very broken people so would Jesus have fallen in love with someone who caused problems for him?

Honestly, I have no idea! No clue whatsoever. But the point is that perhaps we get too hung up on what our relationship is 'suppose to be' that we miss out on what it is.

Perhaps we have too much of an idea of what a 'good Christian marriage' is suppose to look like that we miss out on what God's idea of love looks like.

Perhaps we need to stop with our lists of the 'perfect husband/wife' that would suit you, and rather see that everyone is messed up, everyone is broken (including you!!!) and relationships aren't suppose to be about what they can give you anyway!!

Maybe we need to stop worrying about how people think and feel about the person we love due to their age, status, employment, education, and instead start looking at things like your mutual walk with God, their ability to be a good parent, their loyalty and commitment.

I never thought I would marry someone 7 years younger than me. I never wanted a man with facial hair (Luke, because you are reading this, I have grown to love the beard!). I didn't want someone who was a muscian and didn't care about essays too much. I didn't want a husband who my family would reject because he didn't 'fit' their mold.

What I did want, and what I got, was someone who loves me and loves to be with me. Who makes me laugh and who treasures me. Someone who I know would fight to the death for me. Someone who will challenge me in my thinking and will support my faith. Someone who would love our children unconditionally and who accepts the crazy, needy side that I sometimes show.

I wanted someone who showed the love of God to me through our relationship.

If you are struggling right now, if you are thinking about breaking up with your partner, or maybe you don't know if you should be in a relationship with them in the first place, then ask yourself what you are running from and what you are running to?

Are you running from a bad, destructive, violent relationship? Then GO!!!! But if it is a good relationship but you don't 'feel' the same any more, where does your commitment and 'stinking it out'-ness come into it?

Are you running to an unattainable dream that actually no person fits into? Then you are the problem not them. But if you are running from a relationship that doesn't honour God (or whatever your faith/morals are) then maybe it is time to go.

I don't believe in 'the one'. I believe we make someone the one, we decide to commit to them and only them and that our love for them makes them our 'one'. Before you give up, figure out if you are giving up on the relationship as it stands or on the dream that you have of a reality that doesn't, and may never, exist.

These things aren't easy and if you are in one of these situations I feel for you and pray for you.

Bit in your pain remember that no one is perfect, communication is essential, and love isn't just a gooey feeling.

You KNOW you wanted more...

So I was trawling through other blogs the other day, as you do, and I found this fun one where you get to learn more about the author.

I thought "hey, why not? More of me can't be a bad thing right?"

So here you go;

THINGS YOU NEVER NECESSARILY WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT ME!!!

1. I have three major fears; getting burned to death in a fire, clowns and escalators. I am not joking, I am actually terrified of all three but the last one I have learned to manage as it is kind of unavoidable. They all scare the bejeezus outta me and I am not really sure why!

2. If I could tell my 16 year old self anything it would be that she is beautiful and worth loving. That and stop worrying about food! You are as skinny as a freaking rake!

3. 5 things that make me most happy right now; Luke meeting me at the bus stop every night after work, getting to talk to Luke about deep and meaningful stuff just before we sleep, playing Kinnect with my friend Melissa, reading a good book, listening to good music.

4. My dream job is one where I could meld helping people, particularly messed up teenagers, with preaching and lecturing and some counselling and mental health work...wait, I want to be a pastor!

5. 10 people who have influenced me through out my life are as follows:

Jesus - his life is one I want that inspires anyone!

Mother Theresa - actually wanted to be her as a child.

Jenny Shipley - for being the first woman PM in NZ

Nelson Mandela - for his forgiveness and love in a place of anger

Christine Sorenson - a family friend who was a missionary in Pakistan for years.

My Great Aunt Eileen - an amazing woman who was always happy and positive.

Rod Thompson - Principal of Laidlaw and my friend and mentor

Will Taylor - a youth pastor and nurse who helped me get sober

My 7th Form History teacher, Mr Milton - pushed me to excel and saw my potential

My Mother - for better or worse, a girl's greatest influence is always her mum.

6. 10 things that really grind my gears:

People using 'aks' instead of 'ask'

Using 'pacific' instead of 'specific'

Using 'preformance' instead of 'performance'

Really any incorrect use of the English language!

Luke pulling all the blankets off me when I am trying to sleep!

People asking for advice, ignoring it, then three days later saying it was their idea.

My computer freezing...I mean come on!

Stupid, idiotic, circular arguments that go nowhere.

Tights ripping when you are out somewhere and can't change them.

People who talk only about themselves (haha funny for a blog writer to say :P)

7. 5 weaknesses of mine are:

I am proud and don't like to be proved wrong.

I am overly sensitive to criticism.

I give criticism too quickly.

I can be too direct to the point of being brutal.

I over think and over analyse everything!

8. 5 strengths I think I have are:

I am compassionate and loving to everyone.

I will drop everything in a heartbeat for someone who needs my help.

I am generous with everything I own.

I am strong in my faith and my defense of it.

I love with all I am even when I have been hurt.

9. I think people most misunderstand my intentions when I am trying to tell them something. Because I am so direct when I say things it can come across as me being harsh or saying something mean when I am actually really wanting to help and love the person. It kills me when I think people have misunderstood my intentions and think that I am angry at them or upset with them when 99.9% of the time I am trying really hard to love them.

10. 10 things I hope I am remembered for:

My love for others

My faith

My defense of my faith

My strong ethical stances.

My hope in God.

My ability to forgive what has happened in my life.

My wacky sense of humour

My laugh

My friendship with everyone

My loving marriage with Luke.