Over the last few years I have been studying theology. It has been an interesting journey with many changes in thinking and faith that has at times messed with me, and at others inspired me.
Recently I have been contemplating the idea of tradition in the church. I don't understand the big deal around communion, meditation, liturgy, fasting and even at baptism!! Is this stuff really necessary? What is the big deal?
Perhaps it is because I am a child of my post modern generation that I don't understand this stuff. I understand the symbolism and things but are they traditions that are needed to keep the church alive and flourishing? If all we need is Jesus then why do we need all this other stuff as well?
So today I started an experiment. I decided that I would meditate and fast (only for lunch mind mind you at this stage haha) and see what happens.
I have just finished meditating to the sound of Gregorian chanting. Now call me crazy but I had no idea how to meditate! I had to look up on the internet different forms of Christian meditation. It made me feel a little silly, but how else does one learn to do these things?
The first thing I noticed straight away is how impossibly hard it is to actually focus your mind. I was breathing slowly, thinking about Jesus, listening to the chanting (which is awesome btw, totes check it out!!) and then bam! I am thinking about what to make for dinner. This happened over and over again to my frustration. Apparently this gets easier to avoid as you meditate more but at this stage I feel like I have failed at simply thinking about God. I haven't, but I feel it.
Another thing I noticed is how relaxing it is just to sit for a long period of time (15 mins haha) without doing anything and just thinking about Jesus. It feels like a complete waste of time! I have so much stuff to be doing that I felt like I was wasting time instead of doing something productive. And yet I felt at peace, like deep calm, for the first time in I don't know how long.
I also realised that it does help focus you on God because you are doing it intentionally and that means I was actually wanting to think about my life, God's love, my sin etc. It really made me feel like I was connecting with God. I felt God's pleasure at the fact that I was just spending time trying to hear what might be said to me. Don't know if that makes sense but I really did experience something.
So phase one was difficult but ultimately successful. I intend to meditate daily for at least a few weeks to see what continues to happen so watch this space.
The fasting thing kinda sucks because I am hungry (!!) and I keep thinking about lunch and then remembering I am not going to eat any. This makes me sad. But apparently the feeling of hunger is there to remind you of God's presence and to motivate you to pray. There are stories of great things happening when people fast and real answers to prayer, so who knows what will happen.
I think I will fast over lunch for a few days and see what happens again.
The reason I am doing this stuff is not because I am simply trying to test it. I don't really like the idea of testing God so much. What I have learnt over the years is that tradition helps ground us in the story of which we are a part.
The church is not just about people today who worship God. It is about the last 2000 years of people who have sought to see God's face. What they have learnt is important. If someone started doing something 2000 years ago (and Jesus did fast!!) and that has continued then who am I to say that it is not good enough for believers today?
Tradition reminds me of the people who have gone before. There is a great cloud of witnesses who have walked our road in different places and who have learnt things that I may never learn if I don't listen to them. Just because I don't understand is not a reason to reject something. I don't understand how Jesus' death and resurrection really worked but I don't deny it because of that! There is faith that people know what they are talking about, that people are smarter and wiser than me that have figured stuff out long before I was even thought of.
Traditions help continue stories. Just like cultural traditions ground people in the story of their country and ethnicity, so church traditions ground us in the story of the Bride of Christ, the church. They tell us who we are and why we are and where we are going. They give us an identity and meaning.
There are traditions that I don't agree with however. As I am not Catholic, venerating Mary is something I find very hard to reconcile with Biblical text. I am not saying accept every tradition ever as gospel truth. They need to be thought out before being worked out. I have spent 5 years working through this stuff in theological training. It took me that long to decide to try any of them.
Baptism, mediation, fasting, and communion all have Scriptural references, are all performed by Christ (and many others) and all focus on God as our provider, creator and sustainer. These things I am happy to accept, live out, and teach to others. But it took me a while to get to that place.
So I am not going to 'test' the traditions, or throw them out, but rather embrace them as something I can learn from, something that will give me greater insight into how the church works and the people that are in it.
I will do these things because the church isn't about me. It is about a faithful people who walk together, learn of each other, and pass on their knowledge to future generations.
Want to join me?
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