The Heart Is Fickle (or Why living by feelings alone is stupid)

I have been noticing a worrying trend growing in Western culture.


It is the idea that we should do what we feel is right, that we should love who we feel we love, and we should follow our feelings in everything we do in life.


I call it "Attack of the Feels" and frankly, it terrifies me.


It may not seem that big of a deal to you, but then you would be feeling that it is ok to do what you feel, rather than using your logic to work this scenario out to its fullest extent.


Before we do that though (and yes, by the end of this I am hoping you will be as scared of feels as I am) let me look at some examples that are currently bombarding our news stories, facebooks, twitters, and all the other media out there (including blogs...woah, inception moment..)


The most obvious one is the "you can't help who you love" argument behind legalising gay marriage etc. (and again I must iterate that I AM NOT A HOMOPHOBE, nor do I think it is wrong that there is a secular understanding of marriage that is open to all people, I just don't think that it is in line with Christian teachings, but I have written other blogs about this so lets all just hold hands, sing Kumbayah and not hate on anyone for thinking differently ok?)


I understand what people are trying to say when they argue "you can't help who you love." They are saying that love is an overwhelming feeling that can hit you right between the eyes, and who does anybody think they are to allow some people the right to feel that and deny it to others?


I get that. Love IS powerful and overwhelming and it does hit people in different ways.


BUT, and here is where it gets tricky, let's follow that line of thinking down the track a wee ways.


This is the same argument that NMBLA uses. NMBLA stands for the National Man-Boy Love Association. It argues for peadophilia being legalised. It is a real thing. They argue that peadophiles can't help who they love - namely, small children - and seeing as paedophilia use to be accepted in ancient Greece and Rome, surely it isn't that bad. Scary thing, this is very similar to arguments used in pro-Gay debates.


The same arguments are also used for polygamous and polyamourous relationships, incest relationships, and even bestiality (the research on this depressed me no end).


THE ISSUE HERE is if you allow this argument for one lot of people, how can it be denied to another? According to some stats, there are more paedophiles per population than there are homosexuals, so are they not allowed a voice? But even if we discount them because it is involving children (just remember the legal age of consent in some countries is twelve, so they are not considered children) are we prepared to permit polygamous relationships? What about marrying yourself (which in some places is legal), does that mean you can apply for benefits for married couples? Where does that leave religious institutions who refuse to marry people in this way? Persecution? Do we open this up to so many different understandings of love that the meaning of what a relationship is completely disappears?


If it is all about how someone 'feels' the laws become open to debate by anyone who feels differently. There is no stability, no way to maintain any law or standard that keeps the understanding of relationships and family in such a way that structures like benefits, legal adoption/guardianship etc make sense.


Another Attack of the Feels is that to do with gender. I recently wrote a blog on this, so I won't go into too much depth, but being able to question your gender because you feel differently than what you are, would not long ago have got you psychiatric help. Now it is seen as a right that anyone has to change their gender and sexual idenitity.


Again, let's follow this through. That means nationality and race come up for question as well. If I feel I am a black man, how is it ok for me to change my gender but not my race? I may identify with black people more than white, and it is about what I feel isn't it? Because if it is not, then what grounds do I have to change my gender?


Religion is also becoming more and more about feels and less about truth. If I tell someone I am a Christian, well that's ok because I am allowed to feel that there is a God and I feel that Jesus was telling the truth. But if I try and tell someone that it is the Truth and that I can intelligently explain why, then that's not cool because how dare I push my faith on someone else when they don't feel that way.


If we follow that to it's logical end, then we will get to a place where there is nothing that is true, no one can claim an objective truth in anything. No law, no court, no statement can be believed as the Truth. No teacher can tell their students that something is true, because what classifies it as true? History? But history is open for interpretation and can be understood differently depending n your race, gender, creed etc. And if we have none of those anymore, then how are we to understand history? And if we cannot trust history, then we cannot trust that it can teach us anything.


So the deeper we get into living off feelings the more and more we HAVE to as we have nothing left to base anything on anymore.


There are many more examples, but just using these three a picture begins to emerge.


It is a picture that is distorted and confused, with no grounding on what is true and right and good.


There is no point to marriage because if I wake up feeling differently one day, the marriage should end ("I love him, I am just not IN love with him"). There is no commitment or loyalty as feelings are fickle and don't work like that.


There is no point in working as if I ever wake up feeling like I don't like my job (everyday...) then I will quit, because again, there is no sense of permanence, loyalty, stick-to-it-ive-ness.


There is no point in families, because even the word family has become so distorted and confused no one knows what it means anymore.


We are left with children who grow up not knowing truth or where to find it.


They will have no understanding of loyalty, permanence, relationships.


They will not understand sex, gender, or sexuality as it will be so fluid that being called a boy or a girl will mean nothing.


They will not understand what it means to be wrong, to be told, "no, you can't do that" or that something is false. None of those words will have any depth or conviction behind them.


Our children will grow into a world that can offer them nothing more permanent than how they feel each minute of everyday.


And what kind of world will children like that build?


God help us all.

Let the People Speak!

Facebook. Love it or hate it, it is here to stay.

And it is changing our lives!

It is changing the way that we think about ourselves, our world and each other.

Before facebook when did you ever think that anyone wanted to know, or een cared, about the amazing meal you had last night, how sick you were feeling, or the new shoes you just got?

When did you consider that hundreds of people that you mostly know only slightly needed to know about your relationship and where it was headed?

We didn't. We told our few close friends and got on with our lives.

Now, if it isn't on facebook then it is almost not official.

EVERYONE wants to know, or at least we think they do, and so we must broadcast our lives, even the mundane and stupid bits.

It is also revolutionising the amount of say that people believe they have in public issues. I have been 'invited' to numerous rallies, projects, protests and petitions all calling for public change and awareness. People are more aware of their environment now and what is happening out there and we want a say! Just as we have a say on everything else through the wonderful world of the 'wall', so too do we now want to express our opinion on other stuff; important stuff!

Theological debates are also entered into by people who would never necessarily shared their faith publically before. People express their disgust or love of religion, they debate with people about their views, and everyone generally tries to evangelise the world with their 'right' thinking.

I confess, I do all of the above, the good and the bad, and though there are many stupid things on fb there are also many great things.

For example, I have been engaged in a conversation (or series of) with a young man who has given up his faith in order to 'think rationally' (his argument not mine). Of course, being me, I just had to, had to, put in my two cents (two dollars, two hundred dollars...) in. At times it has been heated, at others quite funny, and always very deep and searching.

I have loved this. I think anyone who is using their brain and searching for truth is on to something good. But what I have been more blown away with is the response of others.

I have been messaged by people I don't know saying that they are praying for our mutual friend. I have had others, again I don't know, message me to encourage or berate me for my stance. I have had people back up my statements, 'like' them, and challenge me. It is truly a communal disscusion that is occurring that is having an impact on many people around us.

People can't remain quiet in the face of something they believe in being challenged. It is a deeply ingrained part of us that requires us to speak out, yell, scream, or (in the examples seen in this blog) paint.

These pics are from street artists around the world who are commenting on what they see around them in the only way they know how; by painting it on walls.

They are creating a renewable, contemporary commentary of their culture and environment. Like fb they are writing up on a 'wall' what is occurring around them because they cannot be silent. Their humanness cries out to be heard over the devastation and pain that they witness. Like my friend they are writing up in public view what they believe and what they question.

For the same reason that I write this blog, my friend debates faith on fb and these painters put up pictures around their cities, asking the general population to engage in the issue, to think deeply and to reflect on their lives. Their art does what an fb 'invite' does for us.

This world is so messed up. Our relationships with each other and with creation are so out of whack that many of us are lonely while living in cities. Though technology has it's flaws, there are times when I can celebrate what occurs due to our ability to connect with others anywhere, anytime.

There is hope for us yet.