The Heart Is Fickle (or Why living by feelings alone is stupid)

I have been noticing a worrying trend growing in Western culture.


It is the idea that we should do what we feel is right, that we should love who we feel we love, and we should follow our feelings in everything we do in life.


I call it "Attack of the Feels" and frankly, it terrifies me.


It may not seem that big of a deal to you, but then you would be feeling that it is ok to do what you feel, rather than using your logic to work this scenario out to its fullest extent.


Before we do that though (and yes, by the end of this I am hoping you will be as scared of feels as I am) let me look at some examples that are currently bombarding our news stories, facebooks, twitters, and all the other media out there (including blogs...woah, inception moment..)


The most obvious one is the "you can't help who you love" argument behind legalising gay marriage etc. (and again I must iterate that I AM NOT A HOMOPHOBE, nor do I think it is wrong that there is a secular understanding of marriage that is open to all people, I just don't think that it is in line with Christian teachings, but I have written other blogs about this so lets all just hold hands, sing Kumbayah and not hate on anyone for thinking differently ok?)


I understand what people are trying to say when they argue "you can't help who you love." They are saying that love is an overwhelming feeling that can hit you right between the eyes, and who does anybody think they are to allow some people the right to feel that and deny it to others?


I get that. Love IS powerful and overwhelming and it does hit people in different ways.


BUT, and here is where it gets tricky, let's follow that line of thinking down the track a wee ways.


This is the same argument that NMBLA uses. NMBLA stands for the National Man-Boy Love Association. It argues for peadophilia being legalised. It is a real thing. They argue that peadophiles can't help who they love - namely, small children - and seeing as paedophilia use to be accepted in ancient Greece and Rome, surely it isn't that bad. Scary thing, this is very similar to arguments used in pro-Gay debates.


The same arguments are also used for polygamous and polyamourous relationships, incest relationships, and even bestiality (the research on this depressed me no end).


THE ISSUE HERE is if you allow this argument for one lot of people, how can it be denied to another? According to some stats, there are more paedophiles per population than there are homosexuals, so are they not allowed a voice? But even if we discount them because it is involving children (just remember the legal age of consent in some countries is twelve, so they are not considered children) are we prepared to permit polygamous relationships? What about marrying yourself (which in some places is legal), does that mean you can apply for benefits for married couples? Where does that leave religious institutions who refuse to marry people in this way? Persecution? Do we open this up to so many different understandings of love that the meaning of what a relationship is completely disappears?


If it is all about how someone 'feels' the laws become open to debate by anyone who feels differently. There is no stability, no way to maintain any law or standard that keeps the understanding of relationships and family in such a way that structures like benefits, legal adoption/guardianship etc make sense.


Another Attack of the Feels is that to do with gender. I recently wrote a blog on this, so I won't go into too much depth, but being able to question your gender because you feel differently than what you are, would not long ago have got you psychiatric help. Now it is seen as a right that anyone has to change their gender and sexual idenitity.


Again, let's follow this through. That means nationality and race come up for question as well. If I feel I am a black man, how is it ok for me to change my gender but not my race? I may identify with black people more than white, and it is about what I feel isn't it? Because if it is not, then what grounds do I have to change my gender?


Religion is also becoming more and more about feels and less about truth. If I tell someone I am a Christian, well that's ok because I am allowed to feel that there is a God and I feel that Jesus was telling the truth. But if I try and tell someone that it is the Truth and that I can intelligently explain why, then that's not cool because how dare I push my faith on someone else when they don't feel that way.


If we follow that to it's logical end, then we will get to a place where there is nothing that is true, no one can claim an objective truth in anything. No law, no court, no statement can be believed as the Truth. No teacher can tell their students that something is true, because what classifies it as true? History? But history is open for interpretation and can be understood differently depending n your race, gender, creed etc. And if we have none of those anymore, then how are we to understand history? And if we cannot trust history, then we cannot trust that it can teach us anything.


So the deeper we get into living off feelings the more and more we HAVE to as we have nothing left to base anything on anymore.


There are many more examples, but just using these three a picture begins to emerge.


It is a picture that is distorted and confused, with no grounding on what is true and right and good.


There is no point to marriage because if I wake up feeling differently one day, the marriage should end ("I love him, I am just not IN love with him"). There is no commitment or loyalty as feelings are fickle and don't work like that.


There is no point in working as if I ever wake up feeling like I don't like my job (everyday...) then I will quit, because again, there is no sense of permanence, loyalty, stick-to-it-ive-ness.


There is no point in families, because even the word family has become so distorted and confused no one knows what it means anymore.


We are left with children who grow up not knowing truth or where to find it.


They will have no understanding of loyalty, permanence, relationships.


They will not understand sex, gender, or sexuality as it will be so fluid that being called a boy or a girl will mean nothing.


They will not understand what it means to be wrong, to be told, "no, you can't do that" or that something is false. None of those words will have any depth or conviction behind them.


Our children will grow into a world that can offer them nothing more permanent than how they feel each minute of everyday.


And what kind of world will children like that build?


God help us all.

Everything is Relative

Everything is relative.

If you don't agree with me you are a bigot.

Everyone knows that the only truth is there is no truth!

But it is your right to believe what you like.

Just as it is my right to believe that you are a deluded idiot.

Because everything is relative.

Really, the only thing that is important is how I feel about something.

 My own personal truth as it were.

Except there is no thing as truth.

So it's my opinion that matters.

And it is opinion that you are wrong to believe in anything.

Of course you may disagree with me, but you would be wrong in that.

And don't try and shove your religion down my throat.

That would be prejudicial and I can't stand prejudice so therefore it is wrong.

Don't like it?

Your entitled to think that.

You are wrong but that's ok, it's merely your belief system.

You can believe what you like as long as you don't force it on anyone else.

Like me.

I am letting you believe what you like (asstupidandwrongasitis).

And if your faith leads you to love people so much that you need to tell them your version of the truth for the sake of their souls, well,

Too bad.

There is no such thing as truth.

I know this.

Therefore you are wrong.

To suggest that my relativity is wrong is not only prejudicial,

it is down right ridiculous.

Why can't we all just get along???

I started a new job this week and one of the blessings (and burdens) of this particular position is that I get to spend 90% of my time with this one particular woman.

She is lovely and caring but she also talks an awful lot and doesn't like to think about things too much. And before I get any funny comments about how we should get along perfectly then (you can't make them, I have preempted you!) I actually find this way of looking at the world quite a challenge.

For example:

This lady found out that I had studied theology and exclaimed that all she wanted was for all the religions of the world to realise that they all worship one 'Supreme Being' and then we could all get along.

I have to say that this stumped me for quite a while. Though I knew some people in the world thought like this I have never encountered one myself and wasn't entirely sure how to engage in this conversation. Half of me wanted to laugh, the other half wanted to cry.

Why do I find this such a difficult subject to talk about you ask?

It is because there is no answer apart from agreeing with the statement that is not going to offend or anger. Unless I say 'yes, of course we all worship the same God' then I am going to tell her that something she believes in is simply wrong.

And no one likes hearing that.

Because the truth is, no one who takes their religion seriously agrees with this statement.

We would fight, argue and die for our beliefs because we believe them to be true.

We are making a truth statement every time we say 'Jesus is the only way to God' that immediately rules out, disagrees with, and calls every other  religion, in short, a liar.

And that is why religions will never get along.

Every religion on the planet believes that the others are heresy. We want to save and convert and enlighten all those that do not believe our faith because we believe it to be true.

If what you believe in, what shapes and guides your life, is challenged and called heresy by someone else you aren't going to take to kindly to them are you?

I eventually did answer this lady. I told her that I didn't believe in violence and I did believe in respecting all people as made in the image of God and loved by him, but there was no way that I could agree with the statement that we all worship the same God.

She laughed and went on to teach me about my star sign....