Abortion and Sex Changes - A Feminist Issue?

Wow, it has been a long time since I have written one of these. My bad. I hope there are still some readers out there and I haven't been forgotten lol.

Today I am going to tackle a subject that will no doubt ruffle a few feathers, cause a few arguments, and generally put my fine ass on the line.

But I have to write about it. I wouldn't be me if I could stay quiet about such things.

What I want to talk about is the female reproductive system; namely the uterus and the vagina.

Firstly, the uterus.

What a wonderful amazing gift the uterus is. Despite once a month hating the very existence of mine and wishing I could chop it out, it is a wonderful thing.

Why?

Because it nurtures and brings forth life.

Just think about the amazingness of that for a moment.

If you are a woman, the ability to make children (even if you choose not to) is a wonderful amazing gift. For those who can't have children, the fact that it doesn't work can be devastating. It can bring into question your very womanhood.

This ability to nurture and grow life sets us apart from men in a way no other thing really can. You can take hormones to grow boobs, you can get a vagina made, but you can't create a working uterus. It is unique and precious.

It's very design is formed to cradle a baby in a way that keeps it safe, warm and fed.

So abortion really grinds my gears, as it is a invasion and desecration of something amazingly beautiful and precious.

The topic of abortion is one that is really difficult to address publically if you are not pro-choice (NB: pro-choice means you want women to have the right to choose whether to keep the baby or not; pro-life means you believe that every baby conceived should be given the chance to live). The pro-choicers are loud and aggressive and we pro-lifers are often shouted down. We are called bigoted, anti-feminist, and basically terrible people.

Apparently abortion is a feminist issue in that women should be given the right to choose what to do with their bodies. I would argue it is a feminist issue for a very different reason:

If a woman's body is created to bring forth life when insemination happens during sex, then if you consent to have sex, you are consenting to whatever the consequences of sex are. To put it in a way people may understand, if I consent to eat heaps of chocolate, I also consent to the fact that I may get very fat. You can't have one without being prepared to deal with the other.

So when women have sex, knowing that they could get pregnant, even when using protection, then they are letting their bodies work the way they were intended to. To then let a person stick foreign objects into you in order to stop the body doing what it should is an invasion not only of the foetus' body, not only of your uterus, but of your very womanhood.

It is ripping away from your body the right to do what a woman's body should do.

It is a feminist issue because woman's bodies should be given the opportunity to do what they were made to do. When a woman's body is artificially stopped from completing what it naturally does, then it is a feminist issue. It is a feminist issue as it speaks to the right of the woman's body to work properly. It is a feminist issue as it speaks to the equal right every human has to live in freedom without being hurt, and the baby is having that taken away from them.

The argument that abortion is a woman's choice because it is her body is also suspect. A foetus is genetically different from a mother as soon as it is conceived, so it isn't your body you are messing with, but the body of someone completely different from you.

Feminists are meant to stand for equality for all people. This must, it just has to, include everyone who you can differentiate from yourself. THAT INCLUDES UNBORN CHILDREN. To argue otherwise is to undermine exactly what feminism is meant to fight for.

And speaking of feminist issues:

Recently Bruce Jenner has been all over the news for getting sexual reassignment surgery. Apparently he is becoming a woman.

And that last sentence annoys me more than anything else I can think of right at this moment (ok....child abuse, poverty, slavery, sex trade.....there are many more things that piss me off more than this but just work with me here).

The reason that this annoys me is that NO MAN CAN BECOME A WOMAN.

"But wait," I hear you cry, "he is having hormones to grow boobs, and is making his penis into a vagina. Surely he is a woman."

NO!

Vagina does not maketh the woman.

Whether my innie is and outie or vice versa does not actually make me a woman or a man. Because outward appearance does not equal gender.

For example, if hubby lost his genitalia in some freak accident (much easier to use a guy in this example, can't think of an accident that could happen where I would loose my genitalia), I would not think he was less of man. He may feel like he is, but he wouldn't be. He would still be a man, my man. Because he isn't a man simply because he has his junk all in tact.

Let me do some basic genetics with you.

Inside every cell on every person is a nucleus. And inside that nucleus is our DNA. Our DNA is like the code that makes us look the way we do. This code is called our genome or genotype. The outward appearance of the genotype is called the phenotype.

The phenotype, or outward appearance of a person, is caused by a combination of their genotype and their environment. Your environment can have an impact on how you look. You can change your face and body through surgery and this means that your phenotype has changed, but your genotype is always the same.

In other words, it doesn't matter if you chop your bits off and make new bits, your genetics will still state that you are a man or a woman. If you spill blood at a crime scene, it doesn't matter if you dress like a woman, the blood will say that you are a man.

So Bruce Jenner will still be Bruce, even if he changes to Barbara.

And as a woman, having a man claim that they are woman kinda annoys me. No man can know what it is to be a woman. They don't understand periods. They don't know what it is to be inside a woman's head. They don't face our challenges or triumphs. And the same is true of a woman becoming a man.

Sex changes are a feminist issue as it is the uniqueness of women that is to be celebrated. It is our challenges that we fight for. To have someone simply pick up our gender and state they are who we are is a slap in the face for every woman out there. It is saying that what we are is like a new outfit that can be picked up and dropped at will. It refuses to recognise that there is something deep within us that cannot be copied or surgically inserted.

Being a woman is far more than looking like a woman.

(Disclaimer: I do not hate cross-gender people. I understand that there is something much bigger going on for these people than I understand. I also do not hate those who have had or will have abortions. I know people who have had them. I have studied what happens and the other options out there when I was teaching young girls about sex. I just think we need to think bigger than 'me' and 'my body'. I have also avoided religious arguments as I know not everyone has the same standards as Christianity does. But as a side note, I believe ALL life is precious, from conception to death. I also believe that we are created by a God who knew who and what we should be: to mess with that is to mess with a Divine creation).



Why I Can't Be A Muslim....Ever (Part One)

The last two weeks have passed in my little corner of the world with my husband reaching his mid-semester break and with me having my final, never-to-be-repeated, thank-you-jesus-that-this-will-soon-be-over, taught class. Despite the fact that I usually hate taught classes and much prefer to study on my own in my own space at my own pace, I have really really enjoyed the course I have been doing. It really has made it feel like I am leaving the taught class world on a high.

The course I have been doing is one on Christian engagement with Islam, taught by Peter Riddell from Melbourne University. Peter is internationally recognised as a Western scholar of Islam, dedicating many years of his life to understanding the teachings and practices of this growing religion. He has been part of committees in Britian discussing Muslim and Christian engagement and is well respected for what he does.

In short, he's the boss!

Not only is Peter highly intelligent and full of information, but he is engaging, approachable and funny, as well as being able to speak Arabic which sounds so cool! (Peter, if you are reading this, I am aiming for an A+ from this blatant and free advertising).

I approached this topic with some fear and trepidation. I knew next to nothing about Islam, was worried that it would be really anti-Islam at the expense of intellectual discourse, and was also apprehensive about some of my pre-existing ideas about Islam that had been informed by the media and were therefore all about suicide bombers and female subjugation. I started by throwing all my preconceived notions out the window and waited to be informed.

And boy, have I been informed.

I have so much information floating around in my head now that I feel the need to get it out here in order to be able to process and digest properly. So all you suckers are now my sounding board for my external processing.

Have fun with that.

But I digress.

I have come up with a short list of things that I found extremely informative, challenging, and down right disturbing that have not only shaped my understanding of Islam but have also drawn me unequivocally closer to Jesus. 

Studying Islam has made me a more devout Christian. But I will be looking at that more in Part two of this blog. There is too much to say here.

So here are my musings on why I could never be Muslim. I hope you find them informative and helpful in shaping your understanding of Islam as it grows in population and influence in the West.

DISCLAIMER: These points are IN NO WAY to denigrate, ridicule or revile anyone who is a Muslim. They are simply my own personal musings and have NOTHING to do with the views of Peter Riddell or anyone else. This is not an exhaustive list about what Islam is or what it stands for but are merely points of contention for me. If you want to know about Islam then RESEARCH it and don't rely on this blog to give you an in depth and accurate portrayal of the faith of many Muslims worldwide (who differ in practices and beliefs as much as Christians do). If this post in anyway offends anyone please be aware that these are genuine concerns I have as well as being stated in an often tongue in cheek way.

You have been warned.

1) Muhammad - role model and prophet.

Ok, so saying that Muhammad is a problem with Islam seems like a rather large call to make seeing as he is their ultimate prophet, was their leader while alive, and was given the words of God to give to the faithful. It seems like to claim that Muhammad is a problem is to have a problem with the whole of Islam.

This is not what I am saying.

The problem I have with Muhammad is that as a role model, which some Islamists follow down to how they trim their beards and finger nails, he doesn't seem like a very good one. The Qu'ran shows us that Muhammad started of quite a peaceful man who encouraged Jews and Christians as people of the same faith. As he became more powerful his writings changed to be much more aggressive, warlike, and vengeful. He became the ultimate ji'hadi. He agreed with slaughter, advocated murder, and killed those who disagreed with him. According to one way of interpreting the Qu'ran (quite a popular way I should add) the later verses that contradict earlier verses abrogate, or override, the earlier verses. This means that the violent verses override the peaceful ones. This makes Muhammad seem like a very dangerous man to follow.

He also married a 6 year old. Granted, it wasn't consummated until she was 9 (!!!!) but if people are going to literally interpret his actions and follow them then we end up with child brides and horrific stories of abuse like this one here that are totally justifiable if one adheres to this mimicking principle. Don't know about you but that scares the bejeezus outta me. The majority of Muslims are disgusted by this too and wouldn't practice their faith this way, but there is room for it to be interpreted this way and that alone is enough for me to be put off.

2) Qu'ran - historicity and reliability.

The Qu'ran as a document is not as infallible as Muslims claim. Recent scholarship (most significantly Gerd Puin in Germany on the video here) has highlighted the need for the same historical critical analysis that the Biblical manuscripts have undergone to be applied to the Qu'ran manuscripts. This is not relished by a large proportion of the Muslim community as the do not accept that the Qu'ran could hold any issues, textual deviations etc. However, this has appeared to be the case with the Qu'ran manuscripts.

There are not any manuscripts that can be found of the Qu'ran, as is, until years after Muhammad had died. These manuscripts have been edited and compiled from other sources (see Puin's video, it's good stuff). There have even been scholars who have argued that there is no evidence that Mecca and Medinah (the places were Muslims claims Muhammad and Islam originated from) are the places that Muhammad lived, or that Muhammad was actually a real person at all!! This is in direct contrast to Biblical texts (see part two of this post).

This makes the text of Qu'ran extremely inaccurate in providing the necessary information we need in order to ascertain whether or not this religion is the 'true' religion or if Allah is the true god. As someone who likes using her noggin I find this very hard to accept if I am to follow this faith. I don't like anti-intellectualism at all, particularly in faith terms, and this lack of deep scholarship worries me.

3) The Role of Women in the Qu'ran.

Colour me a raging feminist but this is one of the biggest issues I first had when coming to this class and so made it a mission of mine to try and find out what the Qu'ran actually says about women. It actually isn't that bad, it is the Hadith, or extra writings that have been recorded about things Muhammad said and did, that contains more information on this.

In the Muslim world there is no such thing as an 'average Muslim' just as there is no such thing as an 'average Christian'. Faith differs, interpretations differ, societies differ. All these things lead to different ways of worshipping and following in faith. Still, I was surprised when I came across Sisters In Islam in Malaysia. They are an advocacy group for Muslim women who work to promote the rights of women in Islam. Despite their impressive work there are still groups out there who think stoning of women is ok. The problem is BOTH parties can justify their actions through their sacred writings and through the words of their prophet. This makes this issue very blurry.

One thing that is clear though is that in the majority of Muslim countries women do hold a lower place in society than men. They may have rights but they are limited and are often much less than what men would be offered. Though this isn't only an issue in Islam, it is one that we cannot ignore or wash over with claims of cultural preferences. Any subjugation of any woman at any time for any reason is not ok and is not something that I can easily ignore.

4) The (un)Freedom of Faith.

Though many Muslims will claim that there is no compulsion to believe in Islam, in many countries, such as Malaysia, it is illegal for a Muslim to convert from Islam to any other religion. This can be meet with prison time, isolation from family, and even death. This is a huge issue for anyone researching Islam. In Western countries there is a growing call for the recognition of Muslim customs and faith and yet in Muslim countries minorities and those of other faiths are often persecuted and refused a voice. One cannot demand rights when they are the minority if, when the majority, they refuse them to others. 

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These are four small, quickly overviewed points of contention I have with Islam. People may, and will, disagree with me but I cannot find any Islamic literature that satisfactorily answers these issues. While I believe in dialogue and community and loving your neighbour, I do not believe that these issues can not be addressed by Muslims or remain unasked by the Christians who work with Muslims. For true, open, honest dialogue to occur we need to be really true, open and honest with each other about our faiths and the problems we have with each others faith.

Islam is a world that fascinates me and I will continue to read much more on (so expect a few more posts like this). But I cannot just say why I don't like Islam and not have some kind of retort as to why I like Christianity better. So part two of this blog will look at these same four points and the reason I like Christianity when it comes to these issues. 

Stay posted.

All My Single Ladies

There is an epidemic happening, a plague of biblical proportions.

I watch it with tears in my eyes as it takes victim after victim and there is so little I can do.

But I can warn you, I can bid you to heed my words and maybe a few good people will be saved.

This nightmare, this catastrophe, is call "Stupid Girl" syndrome.

It started in Hollywood with a change from dreaming about being the next woman CEO to wanting to be the next Paris Hilton.

Movies soon followed and soon we were being taught that men LIKE to be treated like crap. "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" was the catch cry and it spread, with horrifying swiftness, out into every corner of the (un)'civilised' world.

I watched in despair as teenager after teenager gave up the desire to find a life long partner and opted instead for quick fixes and quicker relationships.

And now this epidemic has started to affect people who I am close to, my friends and people I love. It affects mainly the men I know and it is time that I had a heart to heart with my fellow women.

Ladies:

There are a few things that you need to know about men.

1. They act tough but as soon as a girl they like is in the picture they become helpless teenage boys who wait for the next text, who don't eat and sleep, and who can cry when a woman treats them like crap.

2. Telling someone that you don't want to go out with them anymore but you 'still want to be friends' is like saying that you are going to stop feeding them but they get to watch you eat as they starve. IT ISN'T SAVING THEM FROM PAIN!!!! It is selfish and mean and you are doing it so you can still have them but they can't have you.

3. You cannot deal with commitment issues if you refuse to ever be committed. It is like playing football but without the ball; it doesn't work! You only work through stuff when you aren't so afraid of it that you run away. It's not the boy's issue, it's yours so suck it up and deal with it.

4. Holding hands, kissing, hugging, spending the majority of time with the same guy and sharing your most personal, intimate thoughts with them (you can have all or one or any combination of these) means you are in a relationship! Telling him that you aren't but acting this way is the most misleading, confusing thing ever! You are lying to yourself and you are lying to him. If you don't wanna stop that stuff then call it what it is, not doing so is just keeping a single man at your beck and call and that is awful!

5. If you would go mental if he saw someone else then stop stringing him along and stake your claim! If you aren't dating him then he is single and can do what he likes so stop treating him like your boyfriend.

I am tired girls. I am tried of watching silly girls purposely or naievely play men and secretly enjoy it. I am tired of hearing girls talk about the issues that they are having with a 'friend' when the issue is is that they treat him as something much more. And I am so so so tired of watching my male friend's lives fall apart because of  a girl flip flopping all over the place and leaving him confused, stressed and upset.

If this is you, if you are one of those girls, then stop it! Either stop being scared and tell it how it is or walk away and let the man bleed, cry and then heal and move on. Stop pulling the scab off because you are too afraid of living without him. If you can't live without him then freaking be with him already!

Please, please stop this madness. Please stop hurting the people you claim to love. Stop leaving people in limbo. Fear is the opposite of love; if you love him stop being afraid of being with him.

Now if you are a guy and some girl is putting you in a crazy situation (and I know you are out there) feel free to share this with her, or get a mate to anonymously send to her or something. Or, alternatively, tell her this yourself! Tell her how it is hurting you. Tell her she is being selfish. Tell her that you need to know where you stand or you need to walk away and for her to respect that. It will hurt but in the long run it may well be worth it.

Ok, rant over, as you were.

Love is a Battlefield

Love

L'amour.

The language of the French, music and poetry.

Nothing is quite like it for raising us up to soaring heights and making us want to dance and sing and laugh all the while with our cheeks aching from a smile we cannot hide.

I remember the first time that Luke and I held hands; the beating of my heart filled my ears, my face burnt from the blood rushing to the surface, my breath was shallow and sharp and my hands shook.

The first time we kissed was even more nerve racking, more exhilirating, more petrifying than merely holding hands. I, a full grown adult, felt like a nervous teenager.

Those memories are seared into my mind and bring a smile to my face every time I recall them.

But that isn't love, that is falling in love. And as much as I sometimes miss the thrill and newness of it all, at the same time I wouldn't give it up for the depth of relationship I have with him now.

I have learnt more about him now. I have argued with him and had to share my space with him. I have been frustrated by him, annoyed by him, teased by him, and disagreed with him. None of these things happened at the beginning. I would have been too scared to argue vehemently with him when our relationship was so new in case he decided he didn't really like me. Not the case now! And I will continue to learn more about him over the years and our love for each other will change and grow.

I have a few friends that are struggling in relationships right now. They are confused, not sleeping, not eating, and anxious. Or the a deliriously happy, not sleeping, not eating, and anxious. (Funny how the symptoms at the beginning for depression and falling in love are the same!!!).

I know people who want to give up and walk away from whatever they have, at whatever stage of the relationship that they are in, because it is too hard, it takes too much of a toll, it causes too much pain.

And I get it! As a remarried divorcee at 27 I really do understand that sometimes you need to walk away, sometimes things are too hard or too painful or too dangerous and, despite the grief it causes, it is better to call it quits than to fight for something that doesn't or shouldn't exist.

BUT (and here is the tricky bit) if we were to love someone, I mean not fall in love but really love, then what would that look like? How long do we hang on for? What would we do when it hurts?

First of all we can look at the example God sets us (if you're that way inclined) and we see that the love displayed throughout the pages of history is from a God who doesn't give in, give up, or give away the object of desire.

This is a God that is hurt over and over, abandoned, rejected, killed(!) and doesn't ever stop loving the people who have committed these crimes.

That is one freaking tough God. Also slightly crazy perhaps??

Joking, joking, please don't lynch me.

But perhaps we need a more...human example. So let's go with Jesus.

Um, hang on, does Jesus even have a love interest?

Well, according to some 'theories', that are largely discredited by historical theologians, Mary Magdalene and Jesus had a little thing going. But there is nothing in the Scriptures that tells us how Jesus dealt with rejection, falling in love, arguments, divorce etc. In fact we don't really think of Jesus much as a red-blooded, sexual being.

Yet he was.

At some point he was hitting puberty and all the hormones that come with that. He must have at least had a crush!

And at 33 when he died most young men his age would be married and have families.I wonder if he missed that, if he longed for physical touch from a woman, if he found it difficult to be celibate.

Because wanting a partner that you share everything with, physically and emotionally, is not 'ungodly', it is human and beautiful and special. And I bet that Jesus longed for it even though he put his calling above all else.

But if he did get married, or fell in love, how would he have acted?

Would he have acted like God did with Israel and, no matter what, pursue, win over and forgive his woman?

Would he have been like Hosea, who married the prostitute Gomer, and married someone who was wild and uncontrollable?

Or would he have married the 'good little Jewish woman' who was loyal and strong in her faith, and never caused any problems?

See God tends to reach out to very broken people so would Jesus have fallen in love with someone who caused problems for him?

Honestly, I have no idea! No clue whatsoever. But the point is that perhaps we get too hung up on what our relationship is 'suppose to be' that we miss out on what it is.

Perhaps we have too much of an idea of what a 'good Christian marriage' is suppose to look like that we miss out on what God's idea of love looks like.

Perhaps we need to stop with our lists of the 'perfect husband/wife' that would suit you, and rather see that everyone is messed up, everyone is broken (including you!!!) and relationships aren't suppose to be about what they can give you anyway!!

Maybe we need to stop worrying about how people think and feel about the person we love due to their age, status, employment, education, and instead start looking at things like your mutual walk with God, their ability to be a good parent, their loyalty and commitment.

I never thought I would marry someone 7 years younger than me. I never wanted a man with facial hair (Luke, because you are reading this, I have grown to love the beard!). I didn't want someone who was a muscian and didn't care about essays too much. I didn't want a husband who my family would reject because he didn't 'fit' their mold.

What I did want, and what I got, was someone who loves me and loves to be with me. Who makes me laugh and who treasures me. Someone who I know would fight to the death for me. Someone who will challenge me in my thinking and will support my faith. Someone who would love our children unconditionally and who accepts the crazy, needy side that I sometimes show.

I wanted someone who showed the love of God to me through our relationship.

If you are struggling right now, if you are thinking about breaking up with your partner, or maybe you don't know if you should be in a relationship with them in the first place, then ask yourself what you are running from and what you are running to?

Are you running from a bad, destructive, violent relationship? Then GO!!!! But if it is a good relationship but you don't 'feel' the same any more, where does your commitment and 'stinking it out'-ness come into it?

Are you running to an unattainable dream that actually no person fits into? Then you are the problem not them. But if you are running from a relationship that doesn't honour God (or whatever your faith/morals are) then maybe it is time to go.

I don't believe in 'the one'. I believe we make someone the one, we decide to commit to them and only them and that our love for them makes them our 'one'. Before you give up, figure out if you are giving up on the relationship as it stands or on the dream that you have of a reality that doesn't, and may never, exist.

These things aren't easy and if you are in one of these situations I feel for you and pray for you.

Bit in your pain remember that no one is perfect, communication is essential, and love isn't just a gooey feeling.

I am NOT a boy...

I have often thought that life would've been so much easier if I had been born a male.

I wouldn't have got told off for making my dresses dirty when playing.

Come to think of it, I wouldn't have to wear dresses!!!

Seriously, women's clothing is the most uncomfortable stuff ever.

Every morning you need to spend ages doing your hair and makeup, covering up, perfecting and changing everything to make you look presentable.

You lament over your body and how it doesn't look as skinny, as curvy, as sensual, as tanned, or one of a hundred other things as the girl next door/on tv/your sister/your best friend.

You are taught to compete with other women on how you look in order to get men to notice you.

You wear high heels to look sexy and appealing (and because they are sooooo damn cute) only to have your feet destroyed by them.

You get periods. That alone is a deal breaker on whether being a guy is easier. Enough said.

You are taught to find your worth in men, your fathers and boyfriends/husbands, but finding one who hasn't been affected by the image of the 'ideal woman' and who accepts your flawed body is getting harder and harder.

You are looked at strangely if you ever say you don't want children.

You have to go through pregnancy and childbirth.

You get paid less, promoted less, and have to juggle having a family and working.

You always, where ever you are, have to be aware of your surroundings, the people that are there and, if trouble strikes, how to defend yourself.

You can't walk by yourself much anymore without some kind of fear and trepidation of attack.

Your relationship with your mother will be strained at some point, and your relationship with your father it will make or break you.

If you get emotional some guy somewhere will assume it is hormones, and in a work situation it is seen as weak and pathetic.

HOWEVER:

Being a woman is unique.

The bond you share with other women, when you aren't competeing with them, is deep and sisterly and cannot be replaced.

I have to say that relationships with sisters, when they are going well, are worth all the painful things put together (Keren, I love you so much).

Though your Dad has the potential to destroy your self image, there is also a special bond that can occur between men and their daughters that leads the men to be better people and teaches the girls how capitvating and amazing they are.

It is GREAT to be able to cover up a really bad pimple with makeup!

Shoes are too cute, who cares about the pain.

Babies are worth every moment of pain that you ever experience to do with periods, pregnancy and childbirth. The ability to be the one who brings life into the world is one that is humbling and beautiful and amazing.

Learn how to defend yourself; there is nothing quite as satisfying as having some idiot try to do something to you only to end up writhing on the ground because you aren't gonna let it happen!

So.....

Learn to love being a woman.

Learn to love other women as your sisters and not as competition.

Learn to appreciate what the world sees as weakness as your strengths, given to you by a God who knows your heart, knows how much you want to be loved, knows how valuable you are, and who made you beautiful, in his image, and as the pinnacle of creation (Adam needed Eve, just as a male dominated world needs women).

Find your worth in God and it will never again destroy you when someone lets you down.

Embrace your feminity, curves, sensuality, and emotions as strengths. Only women can bring them too the world, and without it....

...the world would be a much hairer, smellier place!

If I were a boy...

This morning I was reading a really good blog by one of my fav lecturers, Dr. Mark Keown (read the whole post here: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/MarkKeown/~3/OaqRGUs21T0/women-bishops-euodia-and-syntyche.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email).

He was basically talking about how he doesn't understand why there is such a big kerfuffle in the Church of England about making women bishops when they have a Queen, have had a female Prime Minister and are basically ok with women being in charge in every other sector of society.

Preach on preacher man.

Apart from the fact that I completely unreservedly agree with the good Doctor, it also got me thinking about the world if the gender inequality was reversed.

Let's imagine I was a man and women ruled the world.

The church is based around a female God who begot an only Daughter.

For years the church has been run by only women and the subjegation of men is a shame that darkens the church's history.

It is into this world, developed as it is now, at my current age with my job and relationship status the same but my gender reversed, that I now delve into.

What would that look like?

For starters I would be involved in a church that more than likely made me feel somewhat inadequate.

The preaching and teaching would be about a Mother and her Daughter and an undefinable Spirit that I am expected to be able to relate to on all levels despite the fact that this raises it's own barriers. I mean, how can I relate to a female about porn addiction, raging hormones, the male drive to succeed, wet dreams, feaers of being a father and various other male only issues?

Anyway, I want to emulate a male, not a woman, even if her gender is only 'metaphorical' or 'pictorial'.

The female God is waaaaaay too touchy feely for me, I wanna bit of grit and spit and righteous anger in my God thank you very much. This God seems to nag at me and tell me off a lot and not really like men and sometimes I feel isolated from Her.

The bonus would be that at this age in my life (27) I would not have to be deciding if I would like to get pregnant or not! No stress on that one, but in this world not only would my prospective employers ask me questions about when I want to start a family as I am the one who will more than likely stay home and look after the kids once they are born. This can affect my chances of getting a job but my wife would more easily get a promotion and pay rise than I would anyway.

But what I find really frustrating about being a man is that I feel called by God to be a preacher. Now a lot of churches support me in this role but a lot of them don't. Not because I am bad at it, or I am not strong in my faith, or because I am not educated or respected, but because I have a penis.

That's it.

No matter how passionate I am, how much I love God or how much others think I should do it too, there will always be people who tell me that the God who said there would be no inequailty in Her also thinks that my male brain is insufficent for Her ministry.

Now let's flick back to reality.

If this was the way the world was, and I was a woman watching men being less than me, I would feel so sorry for every man who was unable to follow God the way they felt lead to. I would want everyone to support and love them and make room for them. I would feel outraged that this was the norm and would demand change in the face of such unbiblical behaviour.

What would you do?

Are you doing that for women now?

Does the plight of women in these churches and societies make you angry? Does it stir you to action to help, to cry for a biblical, loving treatment of women? To honour them as Jesus did? Does it make you look at the women around you and wonder what they are capable of?

What are you going to do?

The Never Ending Battle

The gym. My foe and my friend. Recently, in light of my upcoming wedding, I have been working my ass off in that stinky little slice of hell....literally. the aim is to of course look better than all my tiny bridemaids (why do I have to have such small friends!!) and be happy with the wedding photos. It is not for my husband to be, in fact he swears black and blue that he finds me sexy and beautiful the way I am, and I believe him.

It's for me. Because I don't think I am good enough the way I am.

So I have become almost obsessed with counting the calorie I put in and what I burn. I have just spend three days in bed sick and have started to panic that i haven't been to the gym. I worry that I am getting a little to preoccupied with my weight but then wonder if it is healthy to be worried.

Is there are middle ground?

How can one be happy with how they look and be trying to change it? How do I let myself be me and be happy with it and yet spend hours in the gym trying to look completely different? And when does it stop? Will I ever be ok with how I look if I start down this road? Or should I stop and make a stand and start waving "big is beautiful" banners?

It is doing my head in trying to figure out if I am being healthy in my mind by trying to be healthy in my body. I want to lose weight but I want to love myself while doing it. Yet that seems to be an oxymoron and I haven't learnt how to do that yet. So I have days where I want to spend hours in the gym and then days when I wonder if I am doing the right thing by trying to fit into the 'pretty' category. Maybe I would be doing a better thing for teenage girls and women I know if I stay the way I am because I am happy that way. But am I really happy?

There are times I just want to rebel, to scream at this world that lives and dies on its advertizing, its messages telling people they aren't good enough. If I just flipped the proverbial bird at the billboards and adverts, the oh-too-skinny models and the makeup companies, then mabe I would see what really matters. Maybe then I would look in the eyes of the man who already makes me feel beautiful and skinny and see what he sees. Maybe then I wouldn't be so quick to laugh when he calls me sexy. And maybe, when I read that I am fearfully and wonderfully made by a Creator that I love above all else, I would believe it.

Tomorrow I will go to the gym and ponder these questions as I feel my thighs burn and the blisters on my feet grow, and maybe, just maybe, I will be happy with the wedding photos after all.

My current Haunting Question ('the Perfect Woman part III')

I have been thinking a lot recently about the role and expectations on women in life and in the church (see previous posts) and there has been something bugging me. It has often been said in the church that Jesus understands every temptation and struggle/suffering that we can endure as humans. Now correct me if I am wrong but Jesus was a dude. He had a penis and not a vagina so therefore he has never experienced child birth or period pain (both real suffering by all accounts). He has never felt what it was like to be the voiceless of his generation or the sexually promiscuous of ours. He has neverr been in fear being raped on a date or even struggled with heart ache in the same manner as a woman does. He would never have been tempted by the hot boy on the basketball team or felt the intensity of love for a child (or the intensity of pain if that child is lost). In short, we can only safely say that Jesus understands and relates to half the population of this planet past and present.

So where does this leave the believing woman? How can such a large proportion of the planet follow a God and a Saviour who, really, has never had to bear their burdens? Granted God talks a lot about being like a mother to wayward children, but in reality the best female understandings of God we get are metaphorical in nature. The only physical representation we have of God is in Christ and that has the potential to alienate half the globe. What would it feel like for men if they were walking into a church every week that celebrated a female incarnation of God and how would they be able to relate to that? How are we to reconcile Christ with womanhood?

It has also become apparent to me in thi how much I would have preferred being a man, something which I beliee has been subvertly taught to me. There are very few strong female role models, and an awful lot of bimbo ones. Our lives are shaped by how we look, our bodies, our faces and our clothing. We are judged on our appearances more often than our brains, not to mention the monthly cycles that are such a hassle and cost so freaking much!! The joy of bringing life into the world is overshadowed by the pain of it. And all of this in contast to how easy it would be to be male, how many strong men their are out there who are applauded for their strength (yet on the flip side there are many missing fathers too.....).

I am frustrated (you may be able to tell haha) and have no idea how to teach a new generation of women how to be strong leaders without falling into the trap of sounding like a man hating, bra burning, lesbian feminist. I don't want to sound like that at all! Yet how do e point out the flaws in how are women are treated and portrayed in the world in a way that is intelligent, passionate and yet loving and focused on growth?

The Perfect Woman (part II)

You would think that Christian males would have a different expectation from women than the world does (see previous post). Even though the Proverbs 31 woman would never exist (or, if she did would burn out within the year with all the things she has to manage!!) The interesting thing about her is that she is fundamentallya wise business woman and a loving wife. So I would expect Christian men to want women who are wise, are business women, can look after themselves and are devout Christians and loving wives. In fact, now I think about it, most of the Christian women I know are like this!

But alas this seems not to be the case. When was the last time you heard a guy talking about what he wants in a wife and saying "I would love to marry a CEO of a company, a really wise business woman"? Or "I would love to marry someone who was really good with finances and could bring in money too"? No, it is more likely that you would hear dreams of ladies on the street and freaks in the bed, or someone who will stay home with the kids, or even someone who is submissive to the head of the household. I have even been told in a church that I am far too outspoken to ever be a good wife. I grew up with a mother and father who would tell me to have my hair done and makeup on and dinner ready for my husband when he got home so that he wouldn't 'wander' (I kid you not).

So do Christian men really have a good understanding of what a woman should be or have they too be blinded by the media and pornography?

It is a sad day when I hear christian women talking about having to give up their political advocacy when they get married because hubby probably won't like it. When they are taught a very mixed and confusing message about what it means for the man to be the 'head'. Or when you hear them lamenting the fact that they probably won't find a pure christian man as most of them have been addicted to porn at some point or another and how they worry about how this will affect the males view of what they should look like or do in the bedroom.

When I read the Bible I find a God who honours strong and courageous women. A God that gives them dignity and respect. A God who values the sanctity of sex and marriage and abhors the use of women for sexual gratification. The examples given to us of women in the scriptures are all very strong and working to the best of their ability in an environment that would tear them down. Is it a coincidence that the first person to be included into the elect that left Egypt was a woman, a gentile and a prostitute? God does not advocate for women to be weak and spineless and to fit a mold of what she should look like. And frankly, if God likes strong, opinionated, brave women, is that not what his male followers should want as their partner?

It is hard being a woman sometimes, hard trying to fit in the world and hard trying to fit into a church whose saviour understands men well but never came as a woman.....but maybe that is a topic for another post

The Perfect Woman (part I)

Have you ever watched tv ads for men and women's fragrances? on the one's for men they will have an ordinary looking guy spraying on some body spray or another and women will literally flock to him for his smell. guy+spray=hot women.
on the one's for women the already skinny, pretty, perfect woman will spray on something expensive in order to catch one particularly hot male. woman+goodlooking+skinny+rich=one man.

You will never see an ad with an ugly or normal looking woman (what ugly or normal means is open to interpretation too). you will never see her with many men, as opposed to the men who have hundreds of women running to them for their smell. you will never see her in dowdy clothes, hair not done, in a bad mood or makeup not on. You will never see the man running to anyone less than a super model.

Or take chick flicks for example (the female version of porn yet far more subtle). the woman is always beautiful or is transformed into a beautiful, graceful woman. the jackass always ends up being a misunderstood male who just needed her help to find his way. She is always demure and more often than not, if she is in a high powered job, comes across as a bitch who needs the man to show herr some fun in order to loosen her up. she saves the man and he saves her. any arguments are brushed over with the man forcefully taking her in his arms and kissing her because all she needs is a man who will take control.

The perfect woman is therefore: skinny but a great cook, earns her own money but is never tired or grumpy, always has high heels on and never has sore feet, wakes up ith her make up on, is strong yet demure, is high powered yet has leisure time, dotes on her man and can put up with his crap with no complaint.

She basically doesn't exist.

And yet this is what we, as women, are being fed. And it is what men are bein fed to believe about women. I often have talks with my male collegues about the underlying sexism that is still apparent in our society and I either get a response that makes me out to be a raging feminist or one that tries to explain that its not really what men want either.

So which one is it? Am I being overly sensitive toward this issue? Or am I voicing what many people want to say and yet don't know how? And if I am, how on earth do we stop the trend?

For more info visit www.misrepresented.org