Which is more important....forgiveness or healing?

On my way to work in the mornings I tend to arrive at the train station about 10mins early so I can sit in my car and read my bible and pray a bit (I know, I am so holy and I put you all to shame). I do this so I start my day the right way, focused on God and not on how tired, grumpy, wanting to be in bed I feel.

Sometimes I just go through the motions. I don't really take in what I am reading and/or I don't really care (maybe not that holy after all). But sometimes what I have read really gets me thinking.

Like yesterday for example.

I was reading Mark 2:1-13. For those who don't know their bibles off by heart (shame on you.....you are going stright to hell, do not pass go, do not collect $200...jokes) this bit tells the story of a paralytic man. Jesus is chilling in a house, maybe eating some dinner or something, when the people of the town hear he is there. Like the celebrating swarming of the 1st Century, they all flock to see him, filling the house and the road outside and basically acting like people do around the Kardashians today, but for much better reasons (hopefully). 

In this town there is a paralytic man who is hanging out with his mates, who start to think to themselves that maybe they should get him to see Jesus and maybe something like a healing would happen (because by now stories of Jesus' healings have spread). So they pick up this guy on his mattress and start carrying to the place where Jesus is.

When they get there the doorway is full of people who are not gonna give up their precious opportunity to see and hear Jesus. Perplexed, these fellas start brainstorming and decide to climb up on the roof (which is flat in this part of the world, and usually has stairway access), and dig a hole through the roof (really hope the owner was pissed off that this) and then lowered the man, mattress and all, down to right smack bag in front of the great man himself.

Now I can imagine Jesus looking at the man on the mat, then looking up at the hole in the ceiling and breaking into a huge smile. He is really impressed with the faith and commitment they have all shown. So he looks at the man and says "your sins are forgiven." Some religious elders and stuff and kinda annoyed by this because in their reckoning only God has the authority to forgive sins and Jesus is a man. So Jesus (apparently reading their minds!!!) looks at them and says "which is easier, to forgive sins or to tell this man to get up, pick up his mat and walk. But so you know that the Son of Man [a title Jesus uses for himself] has the authority to forgive sins..." he looks at the paralytic man "stand up, pick up your mat and walk home." And the dude, who is paralysed remember, gets up, picks up his mat and walks out.

Now there are many amazing things about this story. I mean, the paralysed guy would have had muscles that were all shrunken and munted and yet he could get up and walk straight away! The full body healing that occurred here is mind blowing in medical terms. It is not just the cause of his paralysis that is healed, but all of the issues associated with that. All instantaneously!! Flippin wow!

But what struck me yesterday was not the healing. It was that the healing was almost an afterthought in the story. 

Jesus didn't heal the guy immediately. He forgave him first. And then he implies that it is harder to forgive sins than to heal this man.

The healing is not of the first importance to him!!

This made me think about the priorities I would have placed on this story. If I had been Jesus I would have healed the guy first then said something like "BOOM! Look at what I can do! Now believe all you peeps, because I am badass and,as a bonus, I will forgive his sins too!"

In churches I see the same thing. We pray often for people's healing, but how often is there salvation or relationship to God seen as more important than their physical ills. It is the mentality that says "show me a miracle first and then I will believe and ask to be saved."

And yet that is directly opposite to what Jesus does here. His main focus is on the spiritual ill of the man. He sees that the healing that had to occur between this man and God was more deadly, more disastrous than the physical disabilities he had. This reconciliation of man and God was the priority.

How would this attitude impact how we speak to people with disabilities and illnesses? If we adopted this attitude what would change in our hearts towards others? Would we stop seeing people with disabilities as something to be pitied but rather view the state of their faith as more important? Would their disability pale in comparison to their knowledge of God? Would we approach them differently? Would we approach our own issues differently?

I for one am someone who empathizes greatly with people who suffer from disabilities; I have been one and, but for the grace of God, would still be one. I remember feeling like if people prayed for my healing and it didn't happen, that I or they had failed in their faith. I stopped asking for prayer because I felt ashamed.

It was in the prayers of some ladies who prayed for God to be made known to me, not to be healed, that I was healed. They prayed for my salvation, and God, like in this story, forgave me first and healed me second. And the first was more important for me than the second. My shame and fear was lifted. Even if I had remained in my illness I believe that my experience with God in that moment would have changed my life anyway, even if not others perception of my life.

So when you pray for healing for others (and I am not saying not to) remember that of greater importance to God is that this suffering person would know the love and forgiveness of Christ. It is then that true, deep healing is found, that the broken is made whole, and the world is reconciled to its Creator.

We Will Remember Them...(a not so ordinary memorial)

Today in NZ it is the 12th of September but in Americaland it is the 11th. September 11. Will that day ever mean anything else except death and fear?

I remember being at school on this day 12 years ago (has it really been that long) and hearing, incorrectly, that America had been bombed. The rest of the day went out the window as we sat in our classes glued to the tv watching repeats of the crashes, then people jumping out of windows to escape the fire. The images are burned into my memory and still make me feel physically ill.

Years on now and my view on this historic event has changed. 

It is still disgusting, barbaric and gut wrenching.

It is still a day that is worth remembering.

But as my understanding of world politics has grown so has my compassion for people that I never thought I would have compassion for.

So today I would like to add my own memorial.

"WE WILL REMEMBER THEM"

Today as we remember the planes crashing into buildings I choose to remember the plane hijackers who chose to kill innocent people. I choose to remember all those who have been subjected to brainwashing and have hurt themselves and others in a deluded attempt to do the right thing. I choose to remember their hate, and I chosoe to forgive it as Christ forgave those who nailed him to a tree and then jeered at him as he died.

As we remember the flames that burned with enough force to melt a building I choose to remember those in every country who have burned in the fires of war and terror. I choose to remember Americans, Afghani's, Iraqians, Iranian, Syrians, Pakistanis, African and South American Nations, and every other people, person, mother, child, father, brother, sister, wife, husband who has instigated or been the victim of war and hatred. I choose to pray for those who kill and those who are killed that the justice of God might be known throughout the world and God's peace may reign over all.

As we remember those that were crushed in buildings that came down on top of them, I choose to remember those that see their way of life destroyed in front of them and have no money to rebuild. I choose to remember those that are poor and helpless and do not have an economy or a government that will help them with medical costs and welfare. I choose to remember the parents who watch their children starve because they have been forgotten by the people with money and power. I pray that they may know that God is with them in their suffering, that Jesus suffered as they suffered, that he had no home or income and that he loves them and will wipe their tears from their eyes.

As we remember the nationalism that swept America after the fateful events of September 11 I choose to remember those that are in nations that use nationalism to wage wars and incite the people to hatred. I choose to remember the conditions and environments that breed young people and teach them to hate those from other countries and different religions. I remember those that have never heard of the gospel of peace and instead chose revenge and murder. I pray that God will forgive them, and that they will learn to turn from what they do.

I will remember them.

All of them.

Manipulating the Spirit

I posted the other day this article on a social networking site about Benny Hinn, the infamous televangelist. Apart from his extremely suspect theology (seriously, research him one day) he is also widely known for his healing conferences and for people being 'slain in the spirit' (which basically means falling over under the overwhelming presence of the spirit) when they are around him.

When I posted this article I got a very interesting response. Someone said to me that we shouldn't, as Christians, be putting down other Christians if their ministry is working and healing people.

Well, I tell you, this set off some MAJOR warning bells in my head for several reasons.

1) Do Not Judge.

It is a common thing in this postmodern (pomo) Western world that we live in that we are told that all people's views are of equal value and we should never judge anyone. As there are phrases like 'Do not judge, lest you be judged' in the Bible, the church has adopted this policy hook, line and sinker. But the church as a people that claim the truth are, by their very nature, laying down a line that claims that on one side is the truth and on the other is not. Throughout the history of the church that line has had to be argued, researched, and reclaimed as new beliefs and practices came to the fore and challenged the way the church worked. Sometimes these challenges changed the church (for example when the Protestant church formed out of the Catholic church in the Reformation). At other times the challenges have been rejected by the church as anti-gospel and labelled a heresy.

IT IS OUR JOB TO JUDGE TRUTH CLAIMS.

It is our job as people of the Truth that we judge other claims to truth. It is essential that we are analysing and holding to account the people who claim Jesus name as their motivating factor for their ministry. It is vital for the faith that we discuss what we see happening in other churches, that we research it, and that we weigh it up against Scripture.

If we don't do this, if we fail to hold each other to account, to judge ministries by Scriptural truth, then the Truth of the Gospel gets distorted, cults form, and we have no backing to say that Mormonism, to take one example, is not Christian.

I am not going to go into the theology of Benny Hinn here, but if you hear people you know saying that such and such a preacher is dodgy, then do your homework, engage in debate, and don't shy away from saying "But what they say here is totally against the Bible..." when you know that the Truth is being distorted.

2) When 'the spirit' is not The Spirit.

Benny Hinn, as I said before, is widely known as a faith healer and a man who works in the ecstasy of the Spirit. What this means is that at his meetings there will always be prayer times where people fall over, convulse, and in other ways appear to be under the control of some other power. I knew a young woman who was healed at a Benny Hinn conference. She was my flatmate for a year and was healed 2 years before I meet her from a brain tumour. Unfortunately in the year I knew her the cancer came back and she died at the age of 22. I know her story was genuine. I also know that she was a Bible believing Christian. I don't doubt her faith or that God healed her.

But here is the crucial difference. God healed her. Benny didn't. As someone who has also experienced a dramatic healing, I can testify that God can, and will, work even in experiences where people weren't praying for healing (as in mine). If God is gonna heal, it is gonna happen.

But back to the point.

The Bible says in Matt 7:21-23:

 21“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ 23And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.

Jesus doesn't say that they won't be able to do miracles, these people who didn't know him. Moses in Egypt faced sorcerers who could do many of the things that God told him to do. When Jesus talks about the end days (also in Matthew) he says that many false teahers will come in his name performing signs and wonders and yet will not be from him. 

What we can see here is that there are people who will be able to do stuff like healings and deliverance ministry in the name of Jesus and yet still not be ok in their ministry.

So how do we know the difference between them? How can we spot the preachers who do miracles for God and those that do them for themselves?

That brings me to my next point.

3) Misunderstanding the Spirit.

Something I notice about Christians in NZ is that a lot of us have no understanding of who the Spirit is. We don't think of the Spirit as a person on equal footing with Jesus and the Father. We don't really talk about the Spirit well, making it sound like it is something we 'plug' into when we pray for the 'Jesus hit'. And it is this misunderstanding of the role of the Spirit that I believe has lead us to be afraid of speaking out when someone is manipulating it because we don't know when that is happening. (Let me just qualify that I don't think someone can actually manipulate the Holy Spirit, but rather they manipulate our understanding of it.)

The Holy Spirit is as much God as Jesus and the Father are. It is not some strange force that floats around us and we have to say the right words or go to the right church to 'feel' it as it moves among us. It isn't manifested through the right words or the right musical chord or anything else. 

Rather, it is the Spirit of the living Christ that dwells within us! It is what gives us faith, and peace, in our walk with Christ. It is what connects us with the risen Christ and makes us holy in the eyes of the Father. We don't 'recharge' on the Spirit, we live in it. Being in Christ and Christ in us is all about the Spirit and it's work within us. Sometimes this can be shown through moments of ecstasy and prophecy and healings and the like. But it isn't hovering waiting for us to plug in before those things happen, it is with us all the time and sometimes decides to move through us in strange and mysterious ways.

I am tired at the misunderstanding of the Spirit being used by churches and preachers to convince people that what is being done is from God and not humans. 

We can know whether or not it is the Spirit moving by the fruit that is produced by the people 'working' in it. Is that person, like Mother Theresa, self-sacrificial, loving of all people, have a heart for the broken, giving all they have, recognised for their love? Are they humble and always pointing to God rather than to themselves? Or is that person, like Benny Hinn, preaching that God will give you all you want, money, possessions, etc? Are they living in a humble manner or are they taking the glory?

We can know the difference between people who are working for God and those who are working for themselves. We can tell in the way the preach, and whether it stacks up with what it Bible actually says. Miracles may still happen, but Jesus told us to watch out, to be smart, and to know our Bibles well enough (with the help of those who have gone before and our communities) so we can recognise and speak out against this stuff.

Don't be suckers, be on guard.

OBEY ME!

I don't know about you but the idea of obeying someone really grinds my gears.

I hate, HATE, the idea of having to take orders from someone. There are always times that it comes into play, like if you are a student you obey the teacher. But even then you can choose not to and fail your courses if you want to I guess.

It's the idea of someone telling you how to live, where to go and what to do that really gets to me. This feeds into my desire to be the CEO and not the worker of any business I work in. I want to be the boss, I want to dish out the orders, I don't want to take them!

And I know that this isn't a unique trait to me. It seems to be a major problem with everyone in Gen iY (the next generation after Gen Y). I am a Gen Y'er but can totally relate to this desire to control my own destiny and not listen to anyone else who may tell me what to do.

Typical traits my fellow control freaks are disrespecting of parents wishes, knowing more than the teacher about what is good for me, not paying any attention to government or the laws that they might set, ignoring how annoying my music may be to my next-door neighbours/fellow passengers on the bus/anyone in the general vicinity.

(Random aside: why do people listen to music on public transport on speakers instead of headphones??!!! Do they really think that everyone else wants to listen to the latest rap/dance/hiphop/pop that they are into?! Come on people, they are PERSONAL sound systems!!)

But getting on with the topic....

Recently my amazing father-in-law bought my hubby and I our first car. Problem is it is still four weeks until I sit my license so I am not actually allowed to drive the thing yet. I did anyway. For the first two days of owning the car I threw the rule book out the window and experience freedom. 

Then Luke had a crisis of conscience and told me that we really shouldn't drive anymore illegally. Apparently breaking the law is bad. Apparently God isn't really for that either.

Kill joy.

The thing is I agree with Luke (and God) and I shouldn't be driving illegally and would have a fit if anyone of my friends did it. The thing that pissed me off was that someone, in the case the LAW, told me not to.

I have serious authority issues.

I usually don't bring it up at job interviews.

So I got to thinking:

What is it about obeying that annoys me so much?

And it's not just me! I know that YOU (yes you, reading this right now) have moments where obeying isn't exactly your forte. I know that there have been times when you have thrown the rule book out the window too. Maybe you didn't drive illegally, maybe it was eating more sweets than your mum said you could. But there was a time when you didn't want to, and didn't obey.

So if you are a Christian how does this rebellious nature work when we are dealing with all matters Godly?

This desire to not obey, to be in control, is the BIGGEST issue that separates us from God! Back in the Garden of Eden (whether it was metaphorical or not) the issue was that humanity not only wanted to disobey  God, but they wanted to BE God. To call the shots. That's why the serpent says to Eve "nah, you won't die you'll just be as smart

as God and know everything" (CSW (Christine Susan Welten) translation)

The tower of Babel was about people wanting to be God, to control the world. Abraham gets Hagar, instead of Sarah, pregnant because he tries to control how a prophecy will be fulfilled. Saul gets kicked out of being the king because he does all the sacrificial stuff himself instead of waiting like God had told him. Israel as a country repeatedly refuses to obey God and ends up in exile with the Temple destroyed.

The Bible is FULL of people who couldn't find it in themselves to obey God. And these are people who saw God walking with them in the garden, as smoke on a mountain, as a pillar of fire, and angelic messengers. They had all this cool stuff happen and they still slipped in obeying.

It seems to be the major failure of humanity.

Only Jesus obeyed God 100% and even then he prays, that, if at all possible, what had to happen could be cancelled. 

So if we have this amazingly huge flaw that all of humanity suffers from, what the heck are we suppose to do about it??

Well, I don't know.

Truly.

I think that it is about prayer.

It is through talking to God, admitting our failures and our desire to control (and how badly we do it!), and saying "I want you to be in charge" that we learn to actually let God be in charge.

Even praying that we want God to be in charge in a sense is obedience. We are obeying the command to pick up our cross and follow Jesus. We are saying in effect "I don't know how to do this, but I am trying." We are letting God in and giving him the authority to start changing our hearts.

It is about listening.

In prayer we start to learn to hear God's voice instead of just our own. It takes time and practice to know God's voice in amongst all the other noises in our world and prayer is massive in being part of us being able to hear it.

If we are listening well to God then we will feel when there is a conviction for us to change something. We begin to hear and recognise the call to do something, go somewhere, help somebody. And we learn to respond with "YES" when we hear it. We begin to obey the voice of God as we learn to listen for it.

It is about talking.

We aren't meant to do life alone. Obeying stuff can be hard, particularly when it seems to be inbuilt into us to disobey. 

So we need to talk to each other about our struggles and failings. We need to be honest about the things we find hard to give up or start. We need to pray with each other and for each other so that we can draw on the strength of the community when we are doing something that we know we shouldn't but we don't want to stop.

It is about reading.

We NEED to read the Bible. We need to do this so we can know how God works, how God speaks, and what God says. We need to read it so we can learn what God's voice might sound like and when we have got it really really wrong. Because we don't always get it right and sometimes what we feel is right is actually not what is right.

Praying, listening, talking, reading.

Doesn't sound so hard, but it is.

But when we start doing these things we will start to see our lives change for the better. We learn to love God and others more, we become more humble and accepting of life and the rules in it. We learn to respect people and the things that they say and enforce. 

In short, we become more like Christ.

"Not my will Father, but your be done."

What's the Big Deal?

Over the last few years I have been studying theology. It has been an interesting journey with many changes in thinking and faith that has at times messed with me, and at others inspired me.

Recently I have been contemplating the idea of tradition in the church. I don't understand the big deal around communion, meditation, liturgy, fasting and even at baptism!! Is this stuff really necessary? What is the big deal?

Perhaps it is because I am a child of my post modern generation that I don't understand this stuff. I understand the symbolism and things but are they traditions that are needed to keep the church alive and flourishing? If all we need is Jesus then why do we need all this other stuff as well?

So today I started an experiment. I decided that I would meditate and fast (only for lunch mind mind you at this stage haha) and see what happens. 

I have just finished meditating to the sound of Gregorian chanting. Now call me crazy but I had no idea how to meditate! I had to look up on the internet different forms of Christian meditation. It made me feel a little silly, but how else does one learn to do these things?

The first thing I noticed straight away is how impossibly hard it is to actually focus your mind. I was breathing slowly, thinking about Jesus, listening to the chanting (which is awesome btw, totes check it out!!) and then bam! I am thinking about what to make for dinner. This happened over and over again to my frustration. Apparently this gets easier to avoid as you meditate more but at this stage I feel like I have failed at simply thinking about God. I haven't, but I feel it.

Another thing I noticed is how relaxing it is just to sit for a long period of time (15 mins haha) without doing anything and just thinking about Jesus. It feels like a complete waste of time! I have so much stuff to be doing that I felt like I was wasting time instead of doing something productive. And yet I felt at peace, like deep calm, for the first time in I don't know how long.

I also realised that it does help focus you on God because you are doing it intentionally and that means I was actually wanting to think about my life, God's love, my sin etc. It really made me feel like I was connecting with God. I felt God's pleasure at the fact that I was just spending time trying to hear what might be said to me. Don't know if that makes sense but I really did experience something.

So phase one was difficult but ultimately successful. I intend to meditate daily for at least a few weeks to see what continues to happen so watch this space.

The fasting thing kinda sucks because I am hungry (!!) and I keep thinking about lunch and then remembering I am not going to eat any. This makes me sad. But apparently the feeling of hunger is there to remind you of God's presence and to motivate you to pray. There are stories of great things happening when people fast and real answers to prayer, so who knows what will happen. 

I think I will fast over lunch for a few days and see what happens again. 

The reason I am doing this stuff is not because I am simply trying to test it. I don't really like the idea of testing God so much. What I have learnt over the years is that tradition helps ground us in the story of which we are a part.

The church is not just about people today who worship God. It is about the last 2000 years of people who have sought to see God's face. What they have learnt is important. If someone started doing something 2000 years ago (and Jesus did fast!!) and that has continued then who am I to say that it is not good enough for believers today?

Tradition reminds me of the people who have gone before. There is a great cloud of witnesses who have walked our road in different places and who have learnt things that I may never learn if I don't listen to them. Just because I don't understand is not a reason to reject something. I don't understand how Jesus' death and resurrection really worked but I don't deny it because of that! There is faith that people know what they are talking about, that people are smarter and wiser than me that have figured stuff out long before I was even thought of.

Traditions help continue stories. Just like cultural traditions ground people in the story of their country and ethnicity, so church traditions ground us in the story of the Bride of Christ, the church. They tell us who we are and why we are and where we are going. They give us an identity and meaning.

There are traditions that I don't agree with however. As I am not Catholic, venerating Mary is something I find very hard to reconcile with Biblical text. I am not saying accept every tradition ever as gospel truth. They need to be thought out before being worked out. I have spent 5 years working through this stuff in theological training. It took me that long to decide to try any of them. 

Baptism, mediation, fasting, and communion all have Scriptural references, are all performed by Christ (and many others) and all focus on God as our provider, creator and sustainer. These things I am happy to accept, live out, and teach to others. But it took me a while to get to that place.

So I am not going to 'test' the traditions, or throw them out, but rather embrace them as something I can learn from, something that will give me greater insight into how the church works and the people that are in it. 

I will do these things because the church isn't about me. It is about a faithful people who walk together, learn of each other, and pass on their knowledge to future generations.

Want to join me?