Chick Flicks = Girl Porn

In my last blog ("S-E-X") I mentioned how porn was dehumanizing and not honouring to God. I want to unpack that a little.

You would be hard pressed these days to find a teenager who hadn't seen porn at one time or another. I know plenty of guys and girls who admit to having a porn addiction at some point in their lives. It is one of the biggest industries in the world and employs/enslaves millions of men, women and children in the making of films and pictures.

The reason it is so powerful is because sex is one of the most primal instincts that we have. It a strong force and once those instincts have been aroused it is damn near impossible to get them to go back into hiding. Once you have those feelings and images in your head you will never get rid of them and, like a drug, you will want more and more to satisfy the feelings that have been awakened.

Porn is so destructive because it gives a false idea about what sex and humanity is about. It tells us that sex is a commodity, that people can be bought. It shows us that we don't have to care about people, we just have to use them for our gratification. It says that no matter what your darkest fantasies are, you have a right to be accommodated in enjoying them to the expense of someone else.

It also shows us that men are always virile, women are always willing, sex is never awkward or messy or not enjoyable. It tells us that a woman's personality doesn't matter just as long as she is fit looking and willing to do whatever you want. It is the size of the man's penis, not his mind, that matters.

And now I get controversial.

I would argue that chick flicks and romance novels (henceforth known together as romcomnov's) are as destructive and manipulative as porn.

Now before I get lynched by angry woman, let me explain.

Porn distorts the way we view others and can have serious detrimental affects on relationships because of these distortions. Romcomnov's do the same.

In the romcomnov there is usually a bad boy to be tamed, a stuck up woman who needs to loosen up, a man who sweeps a gorgeous woman off her feet, or a plain woman who actually is amazingly beautiful but no one ever noticed before.

All of these plots assume that there is a 'perfect' way of being. That being stuck up and job motivated is bad, but partying and having a good time is good. Bad boys are always actually nice on the inside and just need a woman to change them. Women are suppose to look and dress a certain way to get noticed and get the man. And in the end the perfect man will always turn up with flowers and romance.

This isn't real life. Some people are just assholes, men don't always sweep girls off their feet and really don't like women trying to change them. You don't wake up with make up on, sex isn't always pretty/sweat free/romantic. And no woman looks like they do on the movies.

So how is this like porn?

Porn distorts the way we view humans and romcomnov's do just as much.

Where porn may make you dissatisfied with your sex life or the way your partner looks, romcomnov's can make you dissatisfied with your sex life, how you look, how your partner looks, how your life is, who you are, your friends and everything else.

Women are being trained by the romcomnov to look for a certain type of romance, a man who acts in a certain way, and when that doesn't happen they believe that they must have not found 'the one' and so move on to the next man who needs them to change them.

Porn leaves you wanting something else.

Romcomnov's leave you wanting something else.

Both are as destructive as each other.

Both dehumanize the person.

Both are letting people live their fantasies on screen without anyone thinking of the ramifications.

Now I know there will be many disagreements to this and I would love to hear them. Please, feedback and start the discussion.