This dude is awesome!!

Check out the following link, it is not only hilarious but the dude says everything I think lol.


Enjoy (and yes, this is my lazy way of doing a blog this week hahaha)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOGlSQlMUSA&feature=relmfu

You don't complete me

After my post the other week (My Story Part 2) I have had a couple of comments about how people are so glad that I found happiness in Luke.

The thing is, this is wrong. Sweet but wrong.

Don't get me wrong, I love my husband more than anyone else. He is amazing and funny and sweet and I would be devastated if I ever lost him.

He just doesn't complete me.

As fabulous as my Luke is, he is not me.

Confused? Lemme explain.

I think one of the big issues with how the world portrays love is that we are some how made 'whole' or 'completed' by the person we love.

This is really really bad.

It means that essentially we are making that person our god.

Whether we are happy or not depends on their existence and mood.

Whehter we are ok depends on whether they are ok.

If we happen to be single then chances are we are expected to be miserable and on an active hunt to find our 'other half'. If we aren't then there is something fundamentally wrong with us because we are missing the puzzle piece that completes us.

I did that once. My ex husband was my god and I was nearly destroyed by it ending. I refused to let it ever happen again.

So instead, I placed my hope in God.

I found my identity and strength in Him. First and foremost I am a child of the risen King and it is he who makes me whole. No one else.

Not even Luke.

And Luke knows this.

I have told him straight up that if he left or died or whatever I would be absolutely gutted beyond any mere words but I wouldn't be destroyed.

I would survive, I would still find joy, I would be ok, because I wouldn't be any less me. I wouldn't suddenly have half of me removed. I may be traumatised but I would be me.

Because my joy is not found in Luke. My joy is found in God.

Luke is my bonus prize.

So to all the people out there who are glad that I found my joy in Luke, let me correct you.

Luke makes me happy, very happy, but my joy is found in the Lord.

It was there before Luke, it will be there after him.

And I think that is the way it should be. Relationships should not be about completing each other but about pointing each other toward a deeper relationship with God.

Only if you are whole in yourself, in God, can you have a deep mutual relationship with another.

So to Luke, I love you so much, but I am so glad that you don't complete me.

Mangrove Church

When I was in 6th form (year 12 to you youngsters) I studied the life cycle of the mangrove for a class in Biology.

Now to most people this was an absolute snore fest, to me it was a glimpse into the mysteries of the truth that God has embedded into nature.

No, I am not a tree-hugging, dope smoking, 'God-is-in-everything' preaching hippy. I was just simply amazed at the gracious and elegant strength that these largely ignored creations show.

Today I received and email reminding me of what I had learned from these swamp inhabitants and I thought I would share with you, you lucky thing you, the beauty of the mangrove.

Did you know that the mangrove start their life living below the water? (This is a purely rhetorical question mind you because I am aware that there is only a very slim possibility that you are even remotely interested in these plants enough to actually have learnt anything about them prior to this blog)

The mud that they tend to grow in is extremely soft and chances of survival are slim to none if they do not find a sheltered cove to put down roots.

Once they have established themselves the first thing that they do is grow their roots out horizontally until they connect with the roots of other mangroves living near by.

The mangroves then twist their roots around each other to effectively create a floating platform just below the surface of the sticky mud.

So when you see a mangrove swamp it is not just single plants growing near to each other; they are actually depending on each other for survival in the dangerous conditions in which they live.

It is also among these roots that an entire eco-system finds safety from the rising and sinking tide. FIsh, crabs, and all sorts of other life forms can be found here swimming in the water that the mangroves filter and clean for them.

I love this plant!

Not only is it the unsung hero of the tidal eco-system but it has so much it can teach us.

Mangroves only survive if their community is strong and healthy.

Even a weak mangrove can survive as long as it is connected into the group.

We humans are so like this. Even though we are our own individual person, it is only within a community that we survive and find our being. Without the support of others we find ourselves swept out to sea or drowned in the rising and falling tides of life.

We need each other just as the mangroves do!

It is also this community of plants that allows other life forms to flourish.

If we are part of a healthy and strong community we allow others to grow and remain safe in the shelter and protection of a community that can act as a filter of the rubbish that is out in the world.

Jesus had two commandments; "love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and strength and love your neighbour as yourself".

If we took this to heart would we act as the mangroves do?

Would we act as a raft that others can hook into to stop from sinking?

Would we protect and nourish and reach out to those in our community and any others that came near?

Would we act as a place that would allow people a place to find safety and nourishment?

Would we become a mangrove church?

My Story (part 2)

After sharing my story on this blog the other month I have been overwhelmed by the comments that I have received here, on facebook and in person. Thank you for your kind words, your stories and your expressed pride in me.

One question that I find repeated again and again is "how are you so happy after everything you have been through?"

I find this question difficult to answer.

In some ways it feels like my life before is a dream or a story I read. It doesn't hit me a lot of the time what I have survived and so it doesn't impact me. I think in some ways that this is a blessing and a coping mechanism; to feel all of it all the time would defeat the purpose of God freeing me from it in the first place.

It is also such a complex multi-layered thing that it is hard to pinpoint exactly what it is that made me happy.

Let me just say that two years ago I was still angry and miserable and wondering when I would feel joy.

Now I am not and I do.

All I can say is that the peace of God surpasses all understanding.

Even in the last year I have faced major struggles within my family and have spent a lot of time crying out to God for wisdom, for comfort and for healing in a situation that I can't control.

But even that hasn't broken me.

God gives you the strength that you need to face what you need to. My struggles are no more difficult than yours; the things that you are going through are just as painful, just as changing as these things were for me. God meets us where we are at and gives us what we need to get through, including the people around us who help us stand.

There is also the fact that my shame is gone.

I may feel shame when I recount some of the things I have done, but I do not carry it with me. I am free! Freed by the death that Jesus died for our guilt and shame. Carrying around my sins like a penance is pointless when they are already forgiven. Who am I to continually remind myself of what I have done when not even God does that to me?!

If you do not know God then this is what he offers. No strings attached. Freedom is a wonderful thing, a beautiful, amazing, life changing thing that lets you breathe and sing in a world that does all it can to crush you.

There is no other reason for my joy. It is all I have as an answer.

I hope one day you may experience it too.

The destiny of Destiny

For those of you living in NZ you will be very aware of what is happening around a church called Destiny.

They have had a history with the press in the last few years, with their political activism, church creeds and now their new 'city of God'.

Destiny church is run by a self proclaimed Bishop Brian Tamaki. I call him self proclaimed because most people who become bishops are made so within a church structure that is affiliated with a larger global structure (think Anglican and Catholic). They also are appointed by those higher up in the church whereas Brian was ordained by his own people as Bishop when there was no church structure to actually require this title. He was not appointed by anyone higher up, therefore he is self appointed.

He was also part of a movement to start a Destiny political party (that fell flat) and was a huge part of protesting the 'anti-smacking' bill that seemed to split NZ down the middle. The media managed to portray him, unfairly I might add, as a abuse loving crazy who wanted the right to beat his children. They went too far, but this is how a majority of us first heard about Destiny.

Now Brian wants to start a 'city of God' in the small area of Wiri in NZ. Here the church members will live, breed, educate their children and have a purely 'Christian environment'.

This is causing no end of debate around NZ churches as to whether Brian has gone to far into the realms of a cult sect of the church or if we should support what he is doing for God.

Because I can, I am adding my two cents worth.

I am so worried about this new development that I have done considerable research on it. I have been in contact with people who work with identifying cults, I have read numerous news reports on Destiny, I have talked to people who know Brian personally and his ideals. I have also talked to people who use to be in Destiny and have left for whatever reasons. I wanted to be informed, not just by what the media would tell me, and what I have learned has worried me no end.

The idea of a 'city of God' is based on ideas out of the OT of Jerusalem; Brian is trying to create the New Jerusalem that is talked about in Revelation. He is trying to create an environment that's only purpose is to worship God. While this may sound appealing, there are many flaws to this.

Firstly, in Revelation we are told that Jesus will establish the New Jerusalem, not Brian or any other human, and his attempt to create one now has issues not only of his view of himself but also of a over-realized eschatology (someone who thinks that the Kingdom of God should be here in full now) and this places the power in the hands of Brian, not of God. 

It also means that the children and adults will have no outside teaching or influence to help shape and challenge their thinking. They will be taught Destiny theology, Destiny doctrine and Destiny school syllabus. This will mean no accountability with other churches or developing of theology in conversation with others. This is not good! It means that if something horrendously wrong is taught then no one has a chance to take Brian aside and talk about it with him. It means that children may grow up with a distorted view of the Bible because they have had no one else to listen to apart from Brian. 

Lastly, and this is my biggest concern, in order to be part of the 'city of God' his followers must first sell their houses and land and move to Wiri. Now Destiny is already well known for asking for lots of money from it's congregants and, as my cult expert friend says, when a church asks its people to sell their land, move to the churches land and (possibly) give their savings to the church then this should set off warning bells. It means if people want to leave they have no where to go and funds to do it with. They have been isolated from their communities. ANY church that isolates people is not preaching the gospel of love and community that Jesus gave.

So is it a cult? I don't know but it certainly has me worried and I am not afraid of saying that if you are part of this, please think pray and ask people outside of Destiny what they think of it all. I think Christians get so scared of judging others that we are too afraid to speak out when we see something that is actually potentially dangerous. 

Brian may be a good dude, he may have changed lives, but what he is doing is dangerous and, frankly, cannot be backed up by a full reading of Scripture. It is too reminiscent of other religious cults that cut themselves off from society to leave me feeling comfortable with it.

Below is the latest article on Brian, have a read and fell free to comment.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/7036203/Bishop-urges-his-flock-to-leave-homes-and-jobs

What is the Point?

This weeks theological musing has been one that I have come back to time and time again, in my own mind and with others in conversation.

The question is:

What is the point of it all?

Or to put it another way, what is my purpose, my calling?

It is something that I find is a particular struggle with young Christians who are trying desperately to find their place in the world. They know that they are not meant to find their meaning in their work or relationships but what does that leave them to do?

I have had many conversations that go something along the lines of this:

"I really want to go and do .......(insert dream here)...... but I don't know if that is the plan that God has for my life. I don't want to do something different from his plan for my life and I am just not sure that this is the right path that he wants me on. What do I do? I really love......(dream)..... but I don't know if I should go for it."

There are so many things that upset me about these statements that I am not really sure where I should begin. 

*Big breath* ok here we go.

Firstly, the God made you. He put your gifts/talents/dreams in your head! He wants you to reach for them. Sometimes they will blow up in your face, sometimes they will take a turn you didn't expect, and sometimes they will go exactly where you wanted. To deny these things is to deny who God made you to be. The people who see what they dream come to fruition are those that try damn hard to make it work, even when it seems impossible. To not do anything out of fear it may be the wrong move means that you will stay still and stagnant and that is NOT what God wants for you.

Secondly, the only real plan that I see in Scripture that can be applicable to everyone's life is that we are to love God and love others. We are to do this in every circumstance in every moment to every person. Whether we are in a crap job that we hate, or not sure what we want to do with life, or if we are retiring and have no idea what that looks like! God's plan for your life is to love him, to love others, and to live out of that love. That's it!!! The rest can be shown by the person he made you to be (see above). If you are living out of your talents and striving for where you want to be and in all of that you are loving him and loving others, then that is the plan! You succeeded! You haven't failed him or his plan for your life! And that is such a freeing thought don't you think?

If you take the stress of trying to take every step on this rigid plan that you don't know and have to figure out then actually life becomes a joy to live and there is such a freedom in living out of love. You want to know why I am so joyful? It was realizing this.

Granted, some people have very specific callings on their life, but if you look at the Bible, those people were NOT the norm, they were a very few specially selected people who were told very clearly what to do (and a lot of the time hated what they were asked to do!). So if you haven't had a burning bush/vision/voice from heaven tell you a specific thing you need to do then actually what he wants is for you to let go of the fear that you aren't living up to his purpose.

Fear is the antithesis (opposite) of love. 

And God loves you.

He created you to love.

If you are afraid of taking the wrong step then ask you two questions:

Will this step mean I can love God more?

Will this step mean I can love others more?

If you answer 'no' to either of those questions then DON'T DO IT.

If you answer 'yes' to both of these, and you have talked with others who you value you the opinion of, then don't be afraid of going for it!

And if it blows up in your face, it may not be God smiting you, it may just be that life happens like that sometimes. None of the people who got famous, like Einstein, got there on their first try.

God loves you. He wants you to live in freedom.

Ask yourself, are you living in fear of doing the wrong thing?

Or are you living in the freedom that God's love brings?

Til Death Do Us Part?

So after my last blog (depressing much!!?) it is time for a change in topic. Enough about weightloss, it's a boring subject really, kinda like watching paint dry (or fat melt lol). I am once again optimistic and driven so let's forget about that for a while.

That's right, everybody take a big sigh of relief.

Now on to something far more interesting!!

As you all know, I have the best husband in the world. Actually. Sorry if you think your's is the best; you are wrong. And this has nothing to do with me loving being right. 

You are just wrong. Simple as that.

(awwww aren't we the cutest!!!)

My amazingly wonderful husband and I were talking in bed last night about how sad it is that even the best things, like marriage for example, are tainted by the sadness that one day it ends in death.

Yes, I am serious, we talk about things like that in bed.

Maybe we both need counselling.

We weren't being morbid just for the fun of it, rather we were debating whether or not there is marriage in heaven (*co....geeks....ugh*)

Luke was saying how sad he would be if he wasn't married to me in heaven (seeeeee....best husband EVER!! He said it without any prompting even!). Kinda made me teary hearing him talk like that but my view of heaven is way different.

If Jesus wipes every tear from our eye and there is no more death then heaven seems like a pretty awesome place to be.

(Note: when I speak of 'heaven' I want to put a disclaimer out that this means anything after death whether that be heaven, new earth or renewed earth. Lemme just say that before some theology nerds argue with me over something I don't mean haha).

Also, if heaven is where our love for God and love for each other is perfected then we would have overwhelming love for complete strangers. Not erotic love, so whether or not there is sex is heaven is an interesting addition to this, but love where we see the other as fully human and loved by God.

If this is the case then we would never be lonely. We would never want for companionship. We would find people to talk to and share life with wherever we go.

Would then this render marriage obsolete?

If our deep emotional connections were being fulfilled elsewhere would the purpose of marriage in heaven be only for children? But if everyone lives forever wouldn't it get really overpopulated really fast?

I see marriage in this life as an amazing wonderful gift where we can experience the closest we can to what it means to be loved fully by another human being. And even then it gets messy at times.

Will we need that in a place where we experience love all the time?

There is also the issue of what happens if say, hypothetically, I die tomorrow? If Luke and I are married in heaven does that mean for the rest of his life he must remain a widower?

I would hate him to be alone for the rest of his time here!!! But it would make things a tad tricky if he then had to choose which woman he wanted for eternity (I might get the tinsiest bit homicidally jealous if it wasn't me. Just saying).

I kind of like Luke. He is pretty awesome. And the thought of us being separated by death sucks big time.

But does death part us? 

Or does it lead us into a new understanding of each other, of God and of others?

I guess no one really knows til we get there, until then I will just keep treasuring our night time talks, morbid or not, and every moment I get with him.