I have talked on this blog before about my problems with weight and weight loss (see here, here, here, and here for just some of my blogs on this). I am a big girl and have been for a decade now. I put on weight for a number of reasons and have tried to loss weight for just as many reasons.
6 months ago I decided to try a different tack. Instead of combating the bulge by itself I decided to think like an addict. As an alcoholic I learned that moderation with alcohol doesn't work. As an addict to food I needed to work out what I needed to stay away from instead of looking at the end result.
Sugar and carbs are basically my enemy. Refined carbs and sugar are more addictive than heroine and just as bad for my health. I am not capable of only eating a little bit, I am an addict.
As such, I cut them both out of my diet completely.
The first week of that was absolute hell.
My diet was suddenly so boring! I was having bacon and eggs for breakfast, chicken for lunch, and eggs and meat for dinner. And that was it. Every day. After a week I was able to put a few veges back into my diet but even now my diet is very limited compared to what it was.
I haven't seen much of a weight difference but I have noticed a lot of changes. I feel clearer in my head, and I feel healthier in my body. I have also noticed that I don't eat as much. When you are eating only meat you end up getting sick of eating before you get full. No more eating til bursting or feeling sick and bloated.
I feel a lot more natural in what I eat and a lot better for it. I haven't lost dramatic amounts of weight but I haven't put any on either and it is coming off, albeit slowly.
6 months down with only a couple of slip ups and I am feeling much better than when I have tried to moderate food alone.
It is hard though, especially because I love to feed people when they come to my house. I love to cook brownie and have people enjoy it. I also love to go out and eat at restaurants etc with friends.
This has been a little bit of a challenge but the majority of people I know have been so good and accommodating. My friends now tend to bring a diet drink with them when they come round so I can enjoy something too. We also now go to restaurants that have no carb options, like Nando's chicken.
I do still have moments of feeling left out though. I find it hard especially around ice cream. I love me some ice cream. And when everyone is around enjoying a yummy dessert I find it difficult. But the hardest times are when I am alone and emotionally vulnerable. It is then that I really struggle and long to go and buy a big block of chocolate or a big tub of ice cream and pig out. So far I have resisted and it is getting easier.
It has been a learning curve for me. I have chosen to view sugar as an addiction that is like alcohol, something that I must avoid in order to live well. That means that this is not a diet for a time but a lifestyle change. Viewing sugar this way has made it easier to live with but it has put me face to face with some of my demons and fears around weight.
So if you are struggling with weight maybe it is time to stop acting as if diets are the ambulance at the bottom of the cliff and instead start acting on the addictions that keep you in your destructive life styles. It is helping me, in ways I never thought it would.
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