Ambitious Christianity

This week I said goodbye to my mentor and friend, Dr. Rod Thompson. After 12 years in this fine country, and 5 as principal of Laidlaw College, Rod and his lovely wife Rosie are heading back over the ditch to Sydney to start a new chapter in their lives.

I have been privileged enough to call this man my friend. He has been an unwavering support to me as I have struggled and fought my way through the past years. He was always there to turn to, to seek advise from, and to be admonished by (when necessary). In many ways Rod and Rosie have been surrogate parents to me over the last five years and I will miss them terribly.

I was fortunate enough to get two precious days with them before they headed Sydney-side. They are extremely busy people yet they still made time to come spend a weekend with us (and spoil us rotten in the process) and I basked in the moments I had to absorb Rod's wisdom...who knows when the next time will be.

One of the things I have always admired about Rod is his unassuming manner. He never makes you feel like he has accomplished more than you (though he has), that he is better than you at theology (though he is), or that he wants anything more than to share in your triumphs and your suffering (which he does). He and Rosie are two of the most loving people I have ever met.

So how does a man who appears to place no value in position ever get to be the principal of New Zealand's foremost Christian theological college? How does someone who appears to have no ambition climb the ladder so high?

Before I answer that question, let me deviate for a moment and turn back to what this whole blog is essentially about.....me!

I am a very competitive person. I may hide it well behind jokes and laughter, but I have always been out to win, be the best, take no prisoners.

There are people who won't play board games with me anymore because I can get....let's say a little enthusiastic. It's also why I don't like team sports much; I always hated having to rely on other people to win.

This competitiveness also drives my ambition. It is why I started my own business at 30 rather than going on a benefit when I had no work. It is what drove me to finish my Masters thesis (and what made me cry when I didn't get the mark I wanted). It is what keeps me motivated when it seems all my dreams will take years to accomplish.

But I have always felt that ambition is largely looked down upon within church circles. It is OK to be ambitious, as long as you don't bring it to church. If you say you want to be the best preacher, best song writer, best pastor, then people look away almost embarrassed.

I asked Rod about it this weekend. I asked him if it was wrong to be an ambitious Christian. Was it wrong to want something and to strive for it? Was it bad to want to be the best at something?

I was expecting him to say "yes, it is bad." Instead, he once again blew my mind.

"No," said Rod, "as long as it is not ambition for ambition sake."

What he was saying was that I had to check my motives. Why did I want to be the best? Was it because I needed other's approval? Was it because I wanted to lord it over other people? Was it so I could check the boxes and mentally congratulate myself?

Or was it because I was trying to do the best with what had been given me?

I know what it is to not be able to do what I wish I could. I know what it is to have my mind not work well enough to do anything.

So now, I really really want to do the best with what I received back. I want to honour God by doing the best that I absolutely can.

I don't care if I get rich along the way. I don't care if other people like what I do. I don't even care if I make it to my goals.....well, maybe I care about that.

But I do care about being lukewarm, so half-hearted and humdrum. I care about what I will say when I meet my maker and have to give account for my life. I want to say that I did my best, I tried my hardest, I didn't give an inch, and I worked towards the dreams that I placed before my God.

I believe that Rod got the jobs that he did because he always placed God first and did his best to bring glory to his Creator. He tried hard with what had been given to him because that is the only response to a grace that gives freely. It is the only response in the face of a world where so many people do not get the opportunities we do. The only response to overwhelming love is to love with everything we have.

If that is ambition, then I am ambitious.

And I am OK with that.