Which is the Question

I was told today that I should start a blog. Maybe it is due to the numerous questions I have running around in my brain, or maybe the person just didn't want me talking to them about them, but I have decided that this is an excellent idea. So here we are. I have called this blog 'the sober times' due to me a) being a recovering alcoholic and b) having a certified melancholic streak that causes me to regard the world very soberly. I plan to voice questions and musings here and to leave them open for discussion and debate so feel free to join in at any time.

I was contemplating the idea of dying for ones beliefs the other day (as one does in their spare time) and I was struck by the inherent stupidity of the idea. I mean does God really want us to die simply because we are too stubborn to lie? God would surely forgive us for lying in the face of death. Upon further reflection I realised that I probably could not reject my faith in the face of danger because I would be unable to live with myself after the fact if I did. To die or not to die, perhaps that is the real question.

And then it struck me; what did any of this hypothetical conviction mean if it has no bearing on today? What I mean is, could I not tell by the way I lived in this moment whether or not I would lay down my life for the sake of the gospel? Am I prepared to die daily as it were? Though I would love to answer that with a resounding 'yes! My life is the model of self sacrificial piety' I think the truth is a little different. In Matt 6:8-9 Jesus tell his disciples to take nothing for their journey and to set out empty handed to preach the gospel. Now I am not saying that this is a statement meant to be taken literally for us (Paul for example had a job to support himself in his preaching ministry) but it bodes the question - if God said 'go' would I go? Or to put it another way, if God said 'die' would I die? Does my life reflect the passion and faith of Moses climbing the mountain with Isaac, or am I more of a Hebrew wandering the desert finding mouldy manna after I tried to collect too much out of my lack of faith?

Maybe the more pertinent question is not 'to die for Christ or not to die?' but rather 'to live for the gospel or not to live?'