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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

The Perfect Woman (part II)

You would think that Christian males would have a different expectation from women than the world does (see previous post). Even though the Proverbs 31 woman would never exist (or, if she did would burn out within the year with all the things she has to manage!!) The interesting thing about her is that she is fundamentallya wise business woman and a loving wife. So I would expect Christian men to want women who are wise, are business women, can look after themselves and are devout Christians and loving wives. In fact, now I think about it, most of the Christian women I know are like this!

But alas this seems not to be the case. When was the last time you heard a guy talking about what he wants in a wife and saying "I would love to marry a CEO of a company, a really wise business woman"? Or "I would love to marry someone who was really good with finances and could bring in money too"? No, it is more likely that you would hear dreams of ladies on the street and freaks in the bed, or someone who will stay home with the kids, or even someone who is submissive to the head of the household. I have even been told in a church that I am far too outspoken to ever be a good wife. I grew up with a mother and father who would tell me to have my hair done and makeup on and dinner ready for my husband when he got home so that he wouldn't 'wander' (I kid you not).

So do Christian men really have a good understanding of what a woman should be or have they too be blinded by the media and pornography?

It is a sad day when I hear christian women talking about having to give up their political advocacy when they get married because hubby probably won't like it. When they are taught a very mixed and confusing message about what it means for the man to be the 'head'. Or when you hear them lamenting the fact that they probably won't find a pure christian man as most of them have been addicted to porn at some point or another and how they worry about how this will affect the males view of what they should look like or do in the bedroom.

When I read the Bible I find a God who honours strong and courageous women. A God that gives them dignity and respect. A God who values the sanctity of sex and marriage and abhors the use of women for sexual gratification. The examples given to us of women in the scriptures are all very strong and working to the best of their ability in an environment that would tear them down. Is it a coincidence that the first person to be included into the elect that left Egypt was a woman, a gentile and a prostitute? God does not advocate for women to be weak and spineless and to fit a mold of what she should look like. And frankly, if God likes strong, opinionated, brave women, is that not what his male followers should want as their partner?

It is hard being a woman sometimes, hard trying to fit in the world and hard trying to fit into a church whose saviour understands men well but never came as a woman.....but maybe that is a topic for another post

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