Wadding into the Gay Debate

Maybe I am stupid, or just love controversy, but I cannot let this new bill on gay marriage come and go without saying my piece on it.

Just to qualify my knowledge on this subject (because you shouldn't give your opinion without first doing the research) I have studied the Biblical reference for/against homosexuality. I also have gay friends, single and in relationships, christian and not, that I have asked very open and searching questions of. I have also had my own struggles with sexuality and have struggled/experienced (depending on your viewpoint) various bisexual tendencies for years. I have made the choice not to act on those desires (and in my case they were not strong enough for me to feel I didn't have that choice) but I cannot deny that they are there and they are something that I actively pray about and talk to my husband about.

I have at different times hated my desires and wanted to embrace them.

I chose not to follow through due to my understanding of where they are came from for me (direct link to my fear of men due to sexual abuse) and because of my understanding of God's word.

However, I acknowledge for many people it is not just as simple as deciding not to. For many people this is a heartbreaking issue. To them, if they are Christian, it can mean directly going against what you believe God teaches, or facing not having a close intimate relationship ever, EVER, in your life.

I am lucky. I have a husband who loves me, who I can be honest with, and who I get to share life with. If someone now told me that I couldn't have what is the most amazing love I have ever experienced in person (barring God of course) because somehow what it beautiful is actually sinful, I would be confused, hurt, angry and devastated. I would fight against them with all my being to keep the person closest to me next to me.

I admit that I very rarely admit to my sexual desires to many people as in my circles there tends to be awkward silences and confusion that follows. But I feel I must speak out on behalf of those who can't, who feel to judged to.

This issue is really hard for me and my husband to figure out. 

We are both theological students and love God and the Bible and are prepared to follow it's statutes and example. But with this one it is so difficult when there is so little clear discussion. 

We have a lesbian couple that are friends of mine, who love Jesus (but don't go to church as they get looked down upon and get a lot of crap) and, when you hear their stories, it is totally understandable why they are with each other and not with men. 

They are so excited about getting married in the eyes of God and showing the decade long love they have had for each other publicly. 

They have supported and loved each other through so much and been so strong for each other.  How do I then stand for something that would tell them that their love is wrong (when it is beautiful) that if they want to be with each other then they can't get married, or that they can't do it within their faith? 

To be frank, I am so confused by the issue that this is raising in NZ at the moment.

I know that the bill that is before parliament is to change the definition of marriage (1 man and 1 woman) to be more inclusive of those who are in LG relationships (1 adult with another consenting adult).

I understand that this has caused a huge amount of consternation within churches as they struggle to come up with agreements as a whole denomination as to where they stand on marrying LG couples in their churches.

I get that this is an issue for Christians as they try to figure out where they stand and what they will do with the bible verses that are opposed to homosexuality in any form. And I agree that this is something that we need to grapple with, question and research as it is helpful for our faith and understanding. Maybe this will drive Christians back to actually reading their bibles!

What I don't understand is how we, as a minority in NZ, can have the audacity to try and dictate to the rest of the NZ public how they should practice and define marriage!

Sure, don't marry homosexual couples in your church if you don't agree with it! There is still that option in the NZ law.

Sure, don't have homosexual friends or go to their weddings if you are that opposed, that is your right and choice.

But how can we say that people who may not even BELIEVE in God must live by the statutes of God. Even Paul says that those who live outside the law are not to be judged by the standards of the law.

And are we meant to be living by the law anyway? Are not couples who feel ostracized and alienated from the religious in churches the very people that Jesus would have sat with, eaten with, and gone to the marriage celebrations of?

Would he not have walked with them in their demonstrations to be recognized?

Would he have agreed with them? I don't know. What I do know is he didn't agree with the prostitutes, tax collectors, and others that he hung out with everyday.

He extravagantly loved those that were put down and hurt, even when out of that hurt continued to hurt themselves and others.

We are facing a choice on how we act towards this situation and I have to say that my heart is breaking for both sides as I know that all parties in this debate are trying to do what it best. But maybe it is time for Christians to accept that this is not a Christian nation and we cannot make it that by trying to impose how we believe others should or should not live.

Please feel free to disagree but be warned, any response that is not directed in grace and love towards others will not be tolerated on this blog.